


It's Only Just A Dream

by FantasySwap



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Older Mikey, Punk Frank, Underage Drinking, Younger Gerard, innocent gerard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-26
Updated: 2018-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-12 10:33:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9067864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasySwap/pseuds/FantasySwap
Summary: Frank and Mikey are enemies; they always have been and they always will be. When Mikey's younger brother Gerard joins the school, Frank sees it as a perfect opportunity to bring down his enemy. Only, things don't go according to plan.





	1. The Beginning of a New Beginning

Gerard didn't know what to expect when it was finally time for him to leave. His new uniform was scratchy and uncomfortable, not to mention the wrong size. They were hand-me-downs from Mikey - who had already been attending the high school for three years and would be starting senior year at the same time that Gerard would be starting freshman year. Mikey was long and thin whereas Gerard was shorter and had broader shoulders, so the black slacks dragged along floor and the sleeves of his navy blue blazer covered his hands whilst being tight around his chest and stomach.

He grimaced at his reflection in the floor to ceiling mirror in Mikey's room. This uniform was so _ugly_. He didn't even know why the school enforced uniforms; it wasn't a _good_ school. It was anything but a good school, and it wasn't as if the classy blazer and stripy tie was fooling anyone. They all knew what a dump that place was... even Gerard's Mother knew what a dump she was sending her child into...

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad though, Gerard thought. After all, he _was_ Mikey Way's younger brother, and that _had_ to earn him some sort of grudging respect, right? Gerard wasn't stupid. He knew all about Mikey's extra curricular activities and the gangs. Gerard knew all about the gangs, although Mikey had never mentioned it. He supposed it was just one of those things children _knew_ where adults were blissfully oblivious; it didn't have to be mentioned. It was unspoken of in their household, but whenever Gerard and Mikey were alone, the older would do nothing but bitch and moan about Frank Iero.

Gerard guessed he was the leader of Mikey's opposing gang. While Mikey had never mentioned his gang, he didn't mind talking about his sworn enemy: Frank Iero. Just the name alone was enough to cause Mikey's face to twist up in hate, his lip to curl in disgust, so Gerard never asked about him, or school. Gerard never asked about school, and now he was about to go there, and he was _terrified_.

"Gerard?" There came a muffled question followed by a distressed groan from under the bed covers, and Gerard turned to see his older brother's face peeking out at him from under his Star Wars sheets. He couldn't help but grin; here was the fear of high school, the talk of the entire student body, his older, _very_ intimidating older brother, hiding under his nerdy bed sheets with the glasses he refused to wear to school on crooked and his fringe clipped back with one of their mother's hair grips (he insisted it was because it was getting annoying every time it fell in his face, but Gerard suspected it was just to keep the style in overnight.)

"What're you doing up so early?" Mikey asked, rubbing his head and wincing from what was probably a killer hangover. Gerard just hoped their Mother wouldn't get so protective that she insisted on driving them both to school. Intimidating brother or no intimidating brother, nothing would be more embarrassing than having his Mother fussing over him in front of _everybody_ at his _brand_ _new_ _school_.

"It's not early." Gerard admitted, turning back to face the mirror and watch Mikey's reflection. "We have to leave in twenty minutes. You don't have time for a shower."

"Doesn't matter." Mikey shrugged casually and threw the covers back, swinging a leg over the side of the bed. "I look fucking fabulous anyway." He laughed and Gerard giggled too, unsure whether the older boy was trying to make Gerard feel better on his first day of school or if he really was that narcissistic. Then he caught sight of a flash of bright red fabric sticking out from under Mikey's pillow... and blushed bright red when he saw the garment was actually a piece of ladies underwear.

"Was— uh, was Alicia here last night?" Gerard asked, stumbling over his words as he inspected his new shoes. They were the one thing of his new school uniform that was actually his; his Father had taken him out shoe shopping yesterday afternoon to get a pair that fit him and that would be suitable for school. Mikey always wore Converse to school, despite it being against school rules...

Mikey was so _cool_. He was street smart as well as book smart. Everybody liked him— well, almost everybody. Frank Iero and his gang excluded— and he didn't care about rules or consequences. He was so cool, and Gerard wished he could be like that. He wished he could be popular and unafraid and willing to break the rules instead of being frightened of every little thing people said or did or the judgements they might make. He wished he could be like Mikey.

"No," Mikey went red and moved the pillow so the bra was completely covered up. Gerard swallowed and sighed, resisting the urge to shake his head in despair. "So you don't say anything about this, you understand? I love her; she doesn't need to know about this."

Gerard rolled his eyes, pushing his irritation to the back of his mind. Alicia _really_ didn't deserve half the shit Mikey put her through, let alone the stuff that went on behind her back, but Gerard would never tell her. He wouldn't grass his brother up. Mikey had told him stories about what happened to snitches... he wasn't going to let that be him, even though he doubted Mikey would beat him up like he had that other guy...

Still, the thought was unpleasant.

"Maybe you should _treat_ her like you love her then?" Gerard suggested bitterly, but he knew Mikey knew he didn't mean anything by it. He and Alicia were friends, and Gerard obviously didn't want her to get hurt in anyway, but he'd never tell his older brother what to do, and not because he was afraid of him. He respected Mikey. Everyone respected Mikey...

"Whatever. Just don't tell her, 'kay?" Mikey grumbled and threw the covers back, revealing the black pair of boxers he'd thrown on last night - after Brittney or Sally or Whoever-the-Fuck he had over last night left - for decency's sake. "Now get lost - I have to get dressed. Go help Mom or something."

Gerard rolled his eyes, but left. He didn't want to make Mikey mad at him on his first day of high school; he needed Mikey there to protect him from anyone who might want to beat him up. Aside from the obvious answer of being Mikey Way's little brother - _the_ Mikey Way that half the school alternately loved or loathed - there were several traits about Gerard that made him a bully's first target. It started happening in middle school where, if Mikey and his friends hadn't been there to stand up for him, he would surely have become the bullies new punching bag. Gerard was sure that his brother would beat the shit out of anyone who gave him hassle, but he didn't want to become the most unpopular guy in school. He didn't want to be that loser who relied upon his big brother to keep him safe...

Gerard hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen where he found his Mother standing at the sink with her arms elbow-deep in soapy water. He rolled his sleeves up and made towards the washing up, sharing the workload because he knew Mom was worried about him. Hell, _he_ was worried about _himself_ , but he didn't want _her_ to know that or she'd find some excuse to keep him home for the day. They'd had a row about it last night where Donna had suggested he go in a few days later than everybody else and Gerard had tried explaining that the only thing worse than joining a new school would be joining a new school _on his own_. Mom just didn't seem to understand; Mikey came to Gerard's defence which he _always_ did - saying he _knew_ what high school was like freshman year and that Gerard would stand out like a "sore fucking thumb" if he went in on Wednesday instead of Monday. Then of course Dad had to go to Mom's defence because "it wasn't fair to hair two against one" and Mikey had effectively ended the screaming match by storming off to his room and blasting heavy metal music on maximum volume. Gerard had been _sure_ his ears were going to start bleeding, but it stopped their parents from going on at Gerard about _dangers_ and _bullies_ and _worrying_ , so he was grateful.

It wasn't like he didn't appreciate his Mother's concern, because he really did. They just didn't understand what school was _like_ these days. They'd grown up with a different generation of high schoolers, where all you had to do to become popular was own a car or hand out mint sweets to everybody a few times a week. It was more complicated nowadays: you had to look right, act right, speak well, know the right people, disassociate yourself from the _wrong_ people...

Gerard had a feeling people would know as soon as they saw him that he was the _wrong_ _kind of person._

"I'm sorry Mom," Gerard sighed finally, relenting and apologising first. He was sure he hadn't actually done anything wrong, but if apologising meant that the stony silence between his Mother and he then he would happily swallow his pride. "I didn't mean to yell at you yesterday."

Mom turned to him, smiling sadly, and reached a wet, soapy hand up to tuck a strand of greasy black hair behind her son's ear. The action left soap bubbles in Gerard's hair that he would have to remember to get rid of before he got to school, but he felt that brushing them away now would somehow offend his Mother.

"That's okay Baby. I didn't mean to upset you the day before school..." she trailed off, biting her lip. Gerard rolled his eyes at the embarrassing pet name she used for him, _and_ because the only reason she was feeling guilty was because she thought she might have ruined his first day of school, but still embraced her readily when she opened her arms to him. He _hoped_ she didn't get his new uniform wet; that wouldn't be a great first impression.

"S'fine. Don't worry about it."

"But -" Mom went to say something, but before she could Mikey burst into the room closely followed by their Dad. They appeared to be having some sort of arguement; to an outsider it might seem serious but Gerard and his Mother could tell they were just having one of their playful fights. "Boys will be boys," Mom would turn and say to Gerard whenever she caught them arguing over nothing, and Gerard would laugh and nod and never ask why he was not referred to as a boy whenever he fought with Mikey. Was it because he was too feminine? Did he look too sissy? Was there something wrong with him?

"I'm telling you Dad," Mikey said firmly, his mouth twitching as he struggled to hold back his grin. "If you even _try_ and ground me this year I'll make sure I crash your car until it's a fucking write-off!"

Their Mother tutted at Mikey's language but said nothing; she'd come to realise her son was capable of worse things than swearing a long time ago.

"Why would you be driving my car in the first place if you have your own?" Dad countered, eyebrow raised in good humour as he argued with his eldest son.

"Well I'm not gonna smash up my own car, am I?" Mikey smirked, and then cast a glance over to his Mother. He ambled, somewhat sheepishly, over to her and put an arm around her shoulder cautiously. "Don't worry Mom, your car would go unharmed."

It was, Gerard supposed, an apology of sorts for taking Gerard's side in the argument last night as oppose to hers, _and_ for blasting his music so loud that the neighbours sent Donna dissaproving looks when she took out the garbage the next morning. It was the best apology anyone would get out of Mikey, and their Mother was one of two people who Mikey would ever apologise to. Their Mother and Gerard.

"Thanks Mikes," Donna rolled her eyes. "That means so much to me."

"Yeah well, don't get used to it. C'mon Gee," he spun around, turning to face the younger boy. "We have to leave now or we won't get there ten minutes early, and I know you're anal about getting everywhere early, so move it."

Gerard blushed and scowled at the same time, pissed at Mikey for making fun of him. Didn't every kid want to make a good first impression on their teachers by arriving on time— or in Gerard's case, ten minutes early? Or was this just another example of how "different", how " _special_ " Gerard was? Would what was supposed to make his teachers like him actually just make them pity him? Make the other students laugh at him? He didn't want that. He just wanted to escape the scrutiny of his peers at high school, just wanted to hide under the radar of bullies, just wanted to go unnoticed...

But of course that wasn't going to happen, because he was Mikey Way's brother.

***

Frank honestly hadn't intended to get caught up in a fight with Mikey Way so soon into the new year. He wouldn't go as far as to say he wanted his senior year to be less about mindless violence and more about good education, but he hadn't mean to stir up trouble on the first day back. The rivalry between Way's gang and Frank's own gang had peaked during summer break due to a minor incident involving Ray Toro, Gabe Saporta and a banged up motor bike. Frank  _still_ wasn't sure who had started the fight but Ray swore up and down that it was Gabe who threw the first punch, and Ray was a trustworthy guy.

He'd have to be, to be a part of Frank's gang.

Frank _honestly_ hadn't meant to start a fight so soon, but he was famous for having no brain to mouth filter, so when he saw the sexy black haired boy trailing adoringly after Mikey Way as he strutted up the school hallway, Frank's mouth was already opening in a catcall before he had a chance to think about the repercussions.

Looking back on it, it probably _wasn't_ the best idea to wolf-whistle and call out lewd, sexual remarks to someone _clearly_ associated with Mikey Way - either the kid was a relative of Way's or he was an infatuated fanboy intent on stalking the dude - but Frank just couldn't stop himself. The guy was _hot_ , and Frank was never one to deny himself the pleasure of observing beautiful people.

He must have been new, because Frank had never seen him before and he prided himself on knowing everybody in the school. He was probably a freshman; not just because Frank didn't recognise him but because of his nervous disposition. He walked with his head down, one arm wrapped around his stomach and the other hand clutching at the strap of the messenger bag flung across his shoulder. If he was about to walk into someone he must have seen their feet coming towards him, because he looked up through his hair and shuffled out of the way, but he never seemed to let Mikey Way out of his sight. He looked up, just a little, every ten seconds as though to make sure Way hadn't evaded him.

Frank guessed he was a relative of Mikey's, because he knew Way wouldn't let some obsessive, infatuated, stalker fanboy follow him around school without publicly humiliating him in whatever way he deemed fit. This time, Mikey seemed just as nervous as his stalker; he kept looking over his shoulder to check he was still following.

He _really_ couldn't help himself. The crowds were parting to get out of Mikey's path and Frank was just _there_ , leaning against the wall surrounded by a few of his friends, watching the whole thing and the words had left his mouth before he could even consider the consequences.

"I wouldn't mind a piece of _that_." Frank said obnoxiously and loudly, loud enough for everyone in the corridor to hear. The kid flinched and seemed to shrink away from the direction which Frank's voice was coming from like he knew he was the one being talked about. Either that or he just didn't like the raised voice and the way everyone else seemed to go quiet at those words. Frank stared directly at the kid the wholeness time, except once for approximately two seconds to glance at Mikey to see his reaction.

As it was, Mikey stopped dead in his tracks and Frank heard Ray sigh loudly from his position on Frank's right. Mikey turned slowly to face Frank, his hands closing into fists and his jaw set. He glanced over at the sexy kid following him, just a brief glance like he didn't want anybody to notice, but Frank noticed, and he could practically see Mikey's inner dilemma. Stay silent and let Frank get away with his comment or start a fight and draw even more notice to the quiet, sexy, frightened boy following him. He looked like he didn't want to do either, but this was Mikey Way, Frank's rival since _forever_ , and Frank knew which option he would choose.

"Excuse you?" Mikey challenged, stepping towards Frank ominously as though he expected the other to back away in fear of him. Frank sneered; Mikey Way needed to be put back in his place. "If you've got something to say Frank, please, speak up."

He threw up his arms dramatically to gesture to the entire hall of people - standing in awed, rapturous silence as they eagerly awaited a fight - even though it may as well have only been Frank there. Frank, and the quiet, sexy, frightened boy who had slowly crept closer to Mikey and was hovering behind him nervously. The terrified little glances he kept giving Frank were enough to tell him the kid knew who he was - and didn't like him much. It was more likely that he was afraid of Frank than that he didn't like him, but Frank supposed the two went hand in hand.

"Nothing to say to you, but if you give us a few minutes I'm sure I could think of a few things to say to your friend there."

Frank smirked at Mikey so he'd know _exactly_ what kinds of things he was thinking of saying, and he revelled in the way Mikey's face grew red with rage and his lip curled in hate. One peek at the kid, though, and Frank felt a small twinge of guilt. It was tiny and so foreign to Frank - he hadn't felt guilt or regret in a _long_ time - that he was shocked. The kid was looking up at Frank with wide eyes and a red face, black hair hanging limply over his face as he shot anxious glances around the hallway. He looked like the type that wanted to sink into his surroundings and not make a spectacle of himself, and Frank had effectively ruined that chance by bringing attention to him. He shouldn't have done that... the kid didn't deserve that.

Or maybe Frank needed to toughen the fuck up. He'd obviously softened up over summer break, and that wasn't a good thing when you were in Frank's situation.

Mikey took three long strides over to Frank until he was right there in front of Frank's face and Ray was stepping forward as though to protect Frank, as though he wouldn't be able to defend himself. Mikey's gaze flickered to Ray briefly before he gave all his attention to Frank, still wearing that disgusted sneer that anyone who had pissed Mikey Way off had grown used to. It used to scare Frank; now it just amused him, and he was able to use his indifference to antagonise his rival.

"I'm warning you Iero, you'd better stay the _fuck_ away from my brother or I will _personally_ beat the shit out of you." Mikey threatened, getting so close to Frank's face that Frank could see how bloodshot the other's eyes were, and how full of rage they were. This was unlike Mikey - the man was always so calm and collected, always getting others to do his dirty work or make threats on his behalf, and here he was losing his cool over some kid - over his _brother_.

The two _must_ be close, Frank reasoned, for one little remark to set Mikey off. They must be close for Mikey to break his habits to protect the kid. Frank grinned, thinking of all the ways he could exploit their kinship, all the ways he could _beat Mikey Way._

God, since when did his life become so centred on ruining someone else's? When did his sole purpose become _beating_ another kid?— Not just another kid, but another kid who had done _nothing_ to him when Frank decided to start hating him.

But that didn't matter now. All that mattered now was the fact that everybody in the hallwaywas watching him, they were all waiting to see how he would put Mikey down now he'd been threatened, waiting with baited breath to see how he would react - and who was Frank to deny them what they wanted?

"Go ahead Mikey - 'personally beat the shit out of me' - and get sent away to juvie so fast your head spins. Just gives me more _opportunities_ , right?" Frank's tongue darted out of his mouth and wetted his dry lips; a nervous habit of his that he had never been able to get rid of. He didn't want to break eye contact with Mikey - didn't want to lose their staring contest - but he was unable to resist glancing at Mikey's little brother. Mikey followed his view and growled.

"You son of a _bitch_!" Mikey hissed, drawing his fist back as he prepared to strike. Frank readied himself for a blow, even though he knew Ray would either tackle Mikey to the ground or step in front of him before the fist even made contact with Frank's face. But Ray never got that chance, and Mikey never punched Frank, because the kid stepped in the way.

Or at least, he _kind_ of stepped in the way. He rushed to Mikey's side and grabbed his arm, stopping him from taking a swing at Frank, and then pointedly avoided the older boy's eyes, opting instead to talk in hushed whispers to his brother.

Frank could just make out some of what he was saying, but that was only because he was standing so close to the brothers. He also knew that nobody else, apart from Ray who was standing nearly shoulder to shoulder with Frank, would be able to hear, and that, he supposed, was the kid's intention.

"Mikey, please just leave it, okay?" He was saying, tugging urgently on Mikey's sleeve in the way that an infant wanting to attract it's parent's attention might. "Please, just don't get in trouble already. It's the first day; you know Mom'll kill you if you get into trouble on the first day. _Please_ just leave it?" He finished off his plea with one final tug on Mikey's arm until he managed to pull it back down to his side, well away from Frank's face and the possibility of their Mother murdering him, and then breathed a sigh of relief when Mikey shrugged and stepped away.

"Watch your mouth, Iero." Mikey warned in parting, before spinning on his heel and walking towards his locker, where Gabe Saporta and Pete Wentz were no doubt waiting obediently for  
their leader. "C'mon Gee." He called over his shoulders.

The kid - _Gee_ \- looked up at Frank for approximately half a second, fear and confusion evident in his stare, before he ducked his head and followed after his brother. Frank tried his best not to feel bad when he noticed everyone else was gawking at Gee and whispering - he'd _definitely_ killed any chance the kid had at fitting in _now_ \- and shrugged it off. Beckoning to Ray, who had ambled over to where Bob was standing a few feet away, and proceeded to walk off in the direction of his first lesson.

***

After the expected struggle of finding his first four classes and the unexpected struggle of giving an introductory speech to his fellow students, Gerard was grateful to head into the welcoming warmth of the cafeteria. Gerard had heard terrifying tales of the awful, poisonous food they sold at school, but after asking Mikey his opinion on the subject and learning that those tales were just bullshit rumours meant to scare the freshman, he felt safe to eat something.

Jingling the few coins he had in the palm of his hand, he shuffled from foot to foot nervously. He was way to anxious to eat a whole meal, but maybe he could purchase a bread roll or an apple or something equally light. While he waited, his eyes scanned the room for any sign of his older brother.

It wasn't had to find Mikey; he was, after all, the _leader_ , and Gerard wasn't surprised to see him surrounded by a large group of people. Alicia was sitting on his lap feeding him fries one by one off of her tray and Pete and Patrick seemed to both be talking at once, yelling over each other and vying for their leader's attention. It made Gerard feel uncomfortable how much power he had here at school. It wasn't like Gerard wanted to distance himself from his brother - quite the opposite, he was relying on relying on Mikey to protect him - but being the younger brother of Mikey Way had it's cons.

One of them being that it meant there was no way Gerard could sink under the radar; he would constantly be open for bullying or gossip, and that was an unpleasant thought. He really _did_ doubt anyone would actually attack him, knowing that there would be a team of fighters to beat them back if they did, but it still made Gerard feel bad knowing that half the school probably wanted to bash his head in purely because of who he was related to.

Thinking about this led his train of thought back to Frank Iero, and the way he had talked about Gerard. It made him blush fiercely even now, but it also gave him a small glimmer of hope. Unless Frank had been messing around - which was highly possible— when he made those... _remarks_ about Gerard, it didn't sound like he wanted to hurt him. Attention in the form of people being attracted to you, even if said person was your kin's mortal enemy, was better than the attention of dangerous thugs and bullies. At least, Gerard _thought_ it was.

Gerard was able to buy an apple and escape the queue without anything else before the people behind him got impatient and decided they needed to teach him a lesson. His gaze settled on Mikey once again and he found himself walking towards his brother's table, clutching his apple in one hand and his bag strap in the other. He knew he'd feel awkward if he didn't have something to hold onto, so he dug his fingernails into both items until he felt the soft flesh of the fruit break and the juice ran over his fingers.

He coughed when he was standing behind Mikey, but over the roaring of the cafeteria he went unheard and unnoticed. Reaching out the hand that wasn't holding onto his food for dear life, he tapped his brother on the shoulder once, attracting the attention of not only Mikey but also the entire table. His face went red and his throat closed up; he found that now, when he was put under so much scrutiny and inspection, he had nothing to say.

"Um," was all Gerard could manage before Mikey sighed loudly and stood up, bouncing Alicia off his lap somewhat unceremoniously and in a way that showed off her underwear. She didn't seemed upset by it though - she just giggled and blushed and blew a kiss to her (cheating) boyfriend as he led Gerard away from his group of friends.

"Look Gee," Mikey began in a tired voice. "You can't sit with me."

Gerard frowned, confused. He could easily pull up another chair and merge into the background of his friends conversation. He wasn't going to say anything at _all_ , let alone anything that could embarrass Mikey. He would stay silent and polite and wouldn't speak unless spoken to; there was nothing stopping him from sitting with his brother, which must have meant that Mikey didn't want him to sit at his table.

"I don't get it." Gerard mumbled, looking down and returning his spare hand to his bag strap, his elbow bent as his fingers played with a loose piece of thread attached to it. Why couldn't he just sit there and not do anything? It wasn't like he particularly wanted to sit with Mikey's group - they were loud and obnoxious and scary - but he would rather do that than sit on his own.

"Goddamnit Gerard." Mikey groaned again, rubbing his face with his hand. Gerard risked a glance at Mikey's table and saw that all eyes were on them; thankfully they were far enough away do that their conversation was private. "You're my little brother and I love you, and you know I'll beat the shit out of _anyone_ who hurts you, right? But you _can't_ sit with us."

"Why not?"

"Because! Because you'll make my friends uncomfortable - you're just a freshman and you're not..." Mikey stepped closer to Gerard and whispered, " _in the gang._ I _know_ you and I _know_ what you'll do; you'll sit there and not say anything which will _really_ creep them out."

Gerard opened his mouth to argue, although he had no idea what he was going to say because everything Mikey just said was true, but he was cut off before he could say anything.

"You need to make some friends in your own year, and you can't do that if you're always with me. I'm sorry - I _am_! - but you can't sit with me, Gee." With that, Mikey walked off leaving Gerard offended and worried. Now he was either going to have to find somebody to sit next to or sit on his own. Neither of them sounded like brilliant options, but since he hadn't made any friends at all in any of his classes so far and the only person he actually spoke to aside from Mikey and his teacher's was a girl in his chemistry class - he said "sure" when she said "pass the hydrochloric acid" - it looked like he was spending his lunchtime alone.

He sighed and kept his head down as he trudged to an empty table in the corner of the room. He felt like everybody was watching him, and he didn't dare look up to confirm his suspicions.

Dumping his bag at his feet, he pulled out a tatty, worn copy of _The_ _Shining_ and began to read, never once letting go of the apple slowly being crushed in his other hand.

When the bell went for the end of lunch a half hour later, Gerard jumped up and sped towards to exit before his brother or anybody else could catch up with him, throwing the uneaten fruit into the trash on his way out.

 


	2. Teach Me To Love (Or At Least To Forgive)

Teachers, Gerard decided, were not so bad in reality. Everyone had this skewed, opinionated impression of how teachers acted and what they were supposed to do so that, when they met a genuinely nice person who just _happened_ to be a teacher, they were _obviously_ trying to be the "cool teacher". They couldn't genuinely be a cool person, oh no. They had to be _pretending_ to be nice for their own benefit, so children would work harder in their lesson or respect them more or whatever fucked up reasoning went on inside teacher's heads.

This pissed Gerard off a little, and as he sat in his third art class of the week, silently stewing in frustration, he took out his anger on the blank page in front of him. He drew harsh black lines across the page with a blunt charcoal pencil, surprised when it turned into something half decent: a rough sketch of a woman with her hair blown across her face and her arm outstretched as if she was trying to reach something. Gerard didn't know what it was.

Maybe he was so angry because it was the end of his first week of high school and he still hadn't made any friends, or maybe it was because he was genuinely angered at the bad treatment of teachers in his high school, but either way he felt sorry for Mr Reed as the man struggled to control his fourth period art class.

Gerard hadn't opted to sit at the back of the class - he would much rather have sat at the front, closer to the teacher where he was less likely to get harassed - but Mr Reed had taken one look at the short, frightened boy and deemed him not a trouble maker and therefore safe to sit almost alone at the back of the classroom. That was the one thing Gerard was irritated at the man for, but it was hardly a real reason and so, he decided, Mr Reed was his favourite teacher.

It wasn't just because the man smiled at Gerard when he first walked in, _or_ that he didn't force anyone to introduce themselves to the class like everyone else seemed to want to do, _or_ because he let them listen to music - as long as they were doing their work, that is. Gerard liked him because he seemed like a real' nice teacher' instead of just pretending to be one. No one else seemed to think that though, and that was made apparent as Gerard sat in his place at the back of the classroom on Friday for his third art class of the week, watching poor Mr Reed as he gave up and flopped back on his chair behind the desk.

"Just _please_ try to keep the noise levels down?" He bargained hopefully. "I don't want _another_ complaint from Mr Barton's music class." 

Gerard sighed and got up, picking up his sketchbook with both hands and holding it close to his chest as he picked his way through the screaming, laughing students that crowded around the front few rows - where the popular kids were sitting.

When Gerard walked into the art class for the first time, a good five minutes late and probably looking embarrassingly hot and sweaty because he had had to run to get there on time, he had expected immediate ridicule and snide comments about his appearance or his out-of-style clothing, but no such thing had happened. The other kids didn't _talk_ to him exactly; they talked _about_ him, watching him out of the corner of their eyes and looking away sharply when he met their gaze, but other than that they treated him with a grudging respect, scared to badmouth him and scared to befriend him.

They were afraid of Mikey, afraid of being his new target or attracting any unwanted attention from _the_ _gang_ , and by default they were afraid of Gerard. He had connotations with _both_ gangs, not quite _in_ Mikey's and not quite an enemy of Frank's, but either way he was connected to both of them and no one wanted to risk getting close to him. He had the attention, but at the same time he had none.

Gerard would have preferred it if he had gone by unnoticed; he could deal with having no friends, having _no_ _one_ to sit with at lunch, if he didn't have the _constant_ attention of seemingly everyone. Every once in a while, if he passed one of Mikey's friends, someone that Gerard had met before, they would nod at him or say "hi", maybe chat for a while about how he was "settling in" and to tell him which areas were not being watched by the intrusive security cameras - like Gerard would ever need _that_ information. But it wasn't quite enough to give the illusion of friendship, of companionship.

Still, Gerard mused, what did it matter?

"Sir?" Gerard said meekly when he reached the front desk. Mr Reed, who had closed his eyes and his feet on the desk as he reclined in his chair, jumped at the sound of his name. His eyes flickered open and his features were set in an off-putting scowl like he was expecting his worst enemy to have strolled into his room and asked for him, but when he saw it was Gerard his expression softened and he smiled. Perhaps, Gerard pondered, he was Mr Reed's favourite student. He didn't see how he could have achieved that goal since he'd only seen the man three times and had barely spoken a word to him.

"Gerard. How can I help you?" He asked easily, swinging his legs so they were under the desk and leaning forward in his chair. 

"Oh - well, I... um, I -" Gerard stammered stupidly and he felt his face grow red. He was sure he had had something to say when he started walking up here, but now there was a question directly addressed to him, he couldn't remember it for the life of him. He was just standing there, making a fool out of himself in front of his favourite teacher. 

Mr Reed, however, seemed to sense the boy's discomfort as he smiled and waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Don't worry about it; why don't you show me what you've been working on?" He held out his hand for Gerard's sketchbook and Gerard didn't hesitate to pass it over to him. He watched nervously as the man assessed his work, his eyebrows furrowed as he took in everything on the page.

Finally, he laid the book down on the desk in front of him and looked back up at Gerard intently. "This is good, Gerard. _Really_ good." He sounded so sincere and Gerard could help but feel a little bit proud. No one but his family had ever complimented his artwork, and he always doubted their sincerity since they were his family after all, and they couldn't exactly tell him his work was awful. Hearing someone else - someone un _biased_ as well! - tell him he was good at drawing made him feel like maybe he _was_ good at it.

"Thank you," Gerard mumbled.

"I'm serious, Gerard. You're by far one of the best artists in your year, and perhaps even in the year above you." Mr Reed continued to praise him as he stood up and walked around the table to stand next to Gerard, both of them examining the sketchbook carefully.

"Thank you," Gerard mumbled.

It was silent between them for a little while - the volume in the classroom had reached a new roaring level and Gerard was beginning to get a heachache - before Mr Reed spoke again.

"Gerard," he began, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder that confused Gerard at first, but made sense when his teacher continued. "I couldn't help but notice you usually spend your lunchtimes alone. I know it isn't my place to say this, but if you ever want some place to go, my room is always available for you. You could work on your art projects or do homework or just… whatever. Whatever you need to do, my door is always open."

Gerard looked up at the taller man and was surprised to see he was staring right back down at him. He obviously expected an answer and Gerard blushed as he stuttered out a reply.

"Thank you, Sir," Gerard mumbled, forcing himself to keep eye contact with Mr Reed so he didn't look like weird or ungrateful. He was glad for the escape; he didn't no particularly _like_ eating alone in the cafeteria, but it beat wandering around the school all on his own for half an hour. Ever since that first day where Mikey had explicitly told him he could not sit with his group, things had been prickly between the brothers. Gerard never said anything about it, nor did he act any differently, but he didn't  appreciate being pushed away and made to be on his own and he knew Mikey knew that.

Mr Reed patted his shoulder and he brushed his hand down Gerard's arm as he pulled it away. His hand was cold against Gerard's skin.

"That's alright Gerard. Now go pack up, the bell will ring soon and if you want you can go now. I don't think anyone else will _hear_ the bell over all this noise." He chuckled humourlessly and gestured to the class, watching Gerard as he made his way back to his desk and packed up his belongings. The boy smiled back at his teacher friendlily before throwing his bag over his shoulder and leaving the class, unnoticed by his peers.

He would go to the cafeteria, but he wasn't hungry anymore. 

***

While Gerard was paying for an overripe pear - his only excuse to remain in the cafeteria - Frank was sitting at his designated table with his gang, watching the boy. Ray was on his right and Bob was on his left, James behind him and Evan sitting next to James munching on a sandwich— which smelt _terrible_. God knows how he was enjoying that, but he was so Frank decided to leave him out of the conversation they were currently having.

"Think about it Frankie," Ray was saying, because Ray was the only person allowed to call Frank "Frankie", and that was only because he'd known him the longest. "You make friends with the kid, you can get into his house. You get into his house you can get into Mikey Way's room. You get into Mikey Way's room you can get his secrets or whatever he might be hiding in there, whatever he wouldn't want you to find, you can get it. Heck, if you sweet talk the kid enough _he_ may even be able to give you the dirt on Way."

Frank groaned, knowing where the conversation was going and knowing he wasn't going to like it. Ray was going to ask Frank to make friends with Gee, and Frank didn't know if he wanted to do that. He didn't know where the twinge of guilt he'd felt earlier had come from or why it had come - he had hurt a lot of people in the past and he'd _never_ felt guilty over it; not one single time - but he didn't like it. Since Gee was the one that had made him feel guilty, he figured all he had to do was stay away from the kid and the feeling would go away as well. It all seemed so simple… yet Ray's plan was a good one. He was pretty sure Mikey had recruited a new member for his gang during summer break and was therefore already one step ahead of Frank's gang. They _needed_ dirt on Mikey Way, and they needed it soon. If the kid was their route to success, Frank would have to put his petty worries behind him. For the greater good of the gang.

"Hell, the kid _needs_ some friends. He'd appreciate you talking to him, I'm sure."

"Yeah," Frank scoffed. "When he realises I was only befriending him to get to his brother he'll be _so_ appreciative."

"C'mon, Frankie!" Ray cajoled, beckoning Evan over even though he _had_ to be as repulsed as Frank at the stench of Evan's sandwich. "If we don't pull one over on him _soon_ then we may as well give up. Everything we've worked for, Frank - _everything_! And we'll have to give it _all_ up just 'cause you didn't want to befriend one loser freshman. Do you want that, Frankie? Frank!"

"Yeah Frank," Evan joined in. "Do you want that?"

Frank sighed loudly but didn't reply otherwise. His eyes were on Gee, who had just entered the cafeteria through the double doors that came from the Dramatic Arts block - which encompassed music, art _and_ drama classrooms simply because they were the classes that always got too noisy to be based anywhere else. Frank found himself wanting to know which lesson Gee had come from: he couldn't picture the kid as a drama kid; music maybe, but he didn't know what instrument he would play. He was probably an art student. Frank bet he would be good at art...

"You do realise he knows who I am, right? I mean, he's related to _Mikey_ _Way_. He'll _hate_ me. You seem to think he's gonna want to be best friends or something. "

Frank looked around at his group of friends, shaking his head in disbelief as they proceeded to stare at him blankly. He knew his gang, and he knew they would continue to do this until he gave in and change his mind.

"Look at it this way, Frank. You can either: a) go talk to the kid so that b) you can get dirt on Mikey Way and his gang and c) humiliate him in front of the entire school or d) humiliate him in front of his family, or you can e) genuinely get to know the kid and maybe make a new best friend because f) imagine how fucking _awesome_ it would be if Mikey Way's _kid_ _brother_ joined _Frank_ _Iero's_ gang! Then Mikey Way would feel g) betrayed or h) nervous because i) we don't know how much the kid knows and j) none of us knows how willing the kid would be to spill his brother's secrets if you become his friend. _Or_ if you feel too k) scared or l) doubtful of your own abilities we _could_ just sit here and get m) absolutely nothing over on their gang because you were too fucking scared to talk to one pathetic freshman to n) save your gang, o) save your reputation and p) beat Mikey and his others. I hope you know that if that happens, you will q) no longer have my respect, r) no longer have the group's respect and s) no longer have the school's respect. You'll be treated like regular shit not only by t) the rest of the high school population but also u) by Mikey Way and his gang. Do you really want that Frank?"

"Couldn't you make it to 'z' you fucking quitter?" Evan scoffed from behind them, unhelpfully.

" _Fine_. Goddamn— _fine_. But when this all goes to shit, remember, _I told you so_."

Evan and Ray both watched, amused, as their friend and leader stomped over to Mikey Way's brother who was sitting alone at a table. A book was laid out on the table in front of him, in which he was completely engrossed, and a pear was abandoned to the left of the book. That was something Frank had noticed about him - not that he _watched_ the kid, he had simply _observed_ \- he always bought food and never ate it. Frank wondered why.

"Hey," Frank said when he was close enough. Gerard didn't react; either he didn't realise he was being spoken to or he was too caught up in whatever he was reading to be aware of his surroundings. Frank cocked his head to the side to sneak a peek at the cover and was surprised - although he didn't know why - to see it was a Stephen King novel; one of his favourites in fact. The kid may have had the misfortune of being related to Mikey Way, but at least he had a good taste in books.

"I said, _hey_." Frank repeated, taking a step closer to Gee's table in the hopes that the boy would finally notice him. He did, thankfully, and Frank wasn't even slightly shocked that the first emotion to flicker across his face was fear. Frank had expected it, honestly, had warned Ray and Evan that the kid wasn't just going to open his arms and offer Frank a charm bracelet.

However, Frank didn't expect the boy to scowl at him almost immediately after cowering, and he couldn't help but notice how adorable he looked when he was trying to be aggressive. As it was, he was about as threatening as a sleepy puppy and he gave Frank the embarrassing urge to "aww" at him. Thoughts like that were dangerous when you were in Frank's position.

"What?" Gee asked accusingly, but the way his eyes darted back and forth from Frank to his table of friends - who were all watching them intently - showed how afraid he was; as if he _actually_ thought Frank would beat him up in a room full of people. As if he thought Frank would beat him up at _all_.

"I'm Frank." Frank said, standing confidently in front of the younger boy. His hair was unkept and falling in his face - he made no move to push it away - and his eyes were wide with confusion and fear.

"I know." He replied.

Frank could feel the stares of his friends, expectant and eager for him to actually _get_ _on with it,_ but Frank really didn't know what he was supposed to be getting on with. He hadn't had to be nice to anyone, make _friends_ with anyone, in such a long time. The closest anybody outside his gang got with him was a casual acquaintance and he wasn't used to acting friendly to get what he wanted. He usually just demanded and if that didn't work, threatened… but he knew he wouldn't be able to do that with Gee. Gee was clearly sensitive and bullying him into being friends wouldn't work. He'd have to go gentle in his approach.

But Frank didn't know how to do gentle.

"Can I sit here?" Frank asked, gesturing lazily to the seat opposite the one Gee was sitting in. After watching the kid for four days now, he knew he wasn't waiting for anyone. Frank wasn't naïve, and he knew that wouldn't be the only reason Gee refused to let him sit there, but he also knew he wouldn't be able to do anything besides walk away if Frank did decide to sit next to him.

Gee's gaze followed Frank's arm to the chair, breathing steadily and evenly, and then back to the older boy's face. He looked cute, Frank noticed, but there was also a strange look in his eyes that Frank couldn't place. 

"I can't really do anything to stop you." Gee shrugged, confirming what Frank had been thinking a minute ago, his voice never rising above a soft murmur. Frank smiled calmly before pulling the chair out and sitting down; he half expected Gee to go back to reading his book, to try and ignore him, but to his surprise he didn't. He continued to stare at Frank unashamedly, waiting for him to say whatever he had come over to say. Why not just get on with it, Frank thought to himself.

"So, I'm sorry about earlier." He said bluntly, not even attempting to make excuses. What excuse could he possibly have for that? "That was a dick move and you didn't deserve that kind of attention— not on your first day. I'm sorry."

Gerard blinked, obviously caught off guard. He had probably been expecting his brother's worst enemy to try and tell him about how Mikey was an asshole or about why he should join Frank's gang. Although Gerard was doubtful he would ever be invited to join _anyone's_ gang; maybe as a joke or to spite Mikey, but never in seriousness. Not that he'd ever want to be _in_ a gang— being in a gang was all about mindless violence and wanting to be better than other people. Wanting to have power over people. _That's_ what being in a gang was all about, and Gerard wanted absolutely no part in it.

"You must think I'm an asshole, right?" Frank spoke, jolting Gerard out of his daydream. He shook his head and focused on his temporary companion and the words coming out of his mouth. Did he think Frank was an asshole? Undoubtedly he was… but he _was_ sort of charming as well. Could that dazzlingly bright smile and little curl of hair around the side of his face be called charming? It could certainly be called attractive. Frank Iero was attractive… that was another unimportant detail Mikey had refrained from telling Gerard.

"No," Gerard said quickly, surprising Frank with how vehement he sounded. He must have realised how passionate his "no" sounded immidiately after he said it, because his face flushed and the top of his ears turned pink. He coughed, covering most of his face with his hand, and hurriedly continued, "I mean— I don't know you enough to have an opinion."

Frank laughed a little and cocked an eyebrow, saying, "You want to get to know me then?"

He must have surprised Gee as well as himself, because the kid choked on his next breath and when he ne t looked at Frank his eyes were _huge._ What was Frank _doing?_ the older boy asked himself. Flirting? With _Gee?_

Before Gerard could speak - or shoot Frank down before he even got started with the plan - Frank stood up and took two big strides over to the other side of the table, sitting down in the chair right next to Gee. The other boy squeaked in surprise and Frank saw his knuckles turning white with how hard he was gripping his book.

" _The Shining,"_ Frank pointed out appreciatively, leaning so close to Gee that he could _smell_ him. His hair smelt of apples. "I _love_ that book!" He reached his arm out across the other boy's body to get the book - scared that the kid would break his fingers if he held it any tighter - and he heard him suck in a breath. From the corner of his eye, frank could see Gerard watching him, his face red and his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

It wasn't like Frank only just realised how close they were; he had meant them to be close. That was the _point_. But he was a little confused as to when trying to trick the kid into friendship became tricking him into flirting. He could work with either - being his friend or his boyfriend - and in fact he could probably glean more information from the kid if he _was_ his boyfriend, but he hadn't made the conscious decision to flirt with Gee. It had just sort of… happened.

And now he was very aware of how close their faces were, and how Gerard was watching him with confusion and anticipation written _all over_ his face. 

A fist slamming down onto the table made both of them jump; Frank leapt up, his chair making an awful screeching sound against the floor as it was pushed back, ready to bite the head of whoever just interrupted them. He froze though, when he saw it was Mikey Way. For a second, just a second, Frank felt like he hadn't been caught red handed, like he shouldn't have been talking to Gerard. But then he remembered that he was Frank Iero and he had every right to talk to whoever the he'll he wanted. If Mikey Way didn't like it, then all the more reason to do it.

"Gerard, go sit at my table." Mikey ordered, his eyes never leaving Frank's. 

"Mikey—" Gerard started, probably trying to defend his actions or pretend that he hadn't just been three centimetres away from Frank Iero's lips.

" _Now,_ Gerard!" Mikey roared, and if everyone hadn't been watching them already, all eyes were _definitely_ on them now. Gerard blushed profusely, his nose screwing up - adding to Frank's earlier puppy dog observation - as he scowled. 

"Fuck you." Gerard said quietly. There was a collective intake of breath as people watched the small kid with the long black hair stand up to Mikey Way, as they watched him turn on his heel and storm out of the cafeteria. Frank was in half a kind to follow him - to run after him and apologise for getting him in trouble with his brother and for bringing even more unwanted attention to himself - but apologising wasn't really Frank's style. He'd already done it once today: twice and he might give himself a heart attack. 

Besides, if he ran off now people might think he was running away from a fight with Mikey Way.

Frank turned back to Mikey, an eyebrow already raised in amused superiority.

"Now why'd you go do that, huh?" He smirked at his sworn enemy. "Gee and I were just talking. Making friends, y'know?"

"Look Iero," Mikey snarled, stepping close to Frank. He was as close to Mikey as he was to Gerard now, but it was not the same. It wasn't the same at all; Frank wanted to take a _big_ step away from Mikey right now, but when he was sitting next to Gerard? Well, there was something about the kid that made Frank want to take a step closer. A _big_ step closer.

"I don't know what your deal is, but leave my brother _out_ of it, okay? Remember what I told you? Stay the _fuck_ away from him, or I'll—"

"Personally beat the shit out of me," Frank finished the sentence with a roll of his eyes. "I know. But you know what Mikey? Maybe you should talk to Gerard about that, huh? Because I don't think he had a problem with me talking to him at all."

Frank didn't notice when Pete and Patrick had risen to go and flank their leader, and he hadn't noticed when Evan and Ray had gone to stand ominously behind _him,_ but at some point they had. The entire cafeteria was almost deadly silent, save for a bunch of noisy freshman girls in the corner who still hadn't learnt the ropes yet. 

"Watch yourself, Iero." Mikey threatened. Frank just laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the first chapter is a little fucked up for you— I somehow posted two and had to delete one? I don't even know, but it should all be working fine now.  
> Comment, leave kudos etc if you like it :)  
> Enjoy! <3


	3. What Could Have Been and What Can Never Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly thank you so much to everyone who commented or left kudos on the last chapter! I am so blown away by how many comments it got!! Consider this a reply to everyone's comment: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! <3  
> Enjoy! <3

Gerard and Mikey spent the car ride home in silence; as far as Gerard could tell, his older brother was still angry at him for speaking to Frank - although, as Gerard told himself in his head, he couldn't have stopped Frank from talking to him just like he couldn't have stopped him from sitting down at his table in the first place - and he was in no mood to argue with an angry Mikey.

After what felt like an eternity, they finally pulled up the driveway to their house and came to a shuddery stop. Neither of them spoke as Mikey killed the engine and climbed out of the car, heading towards their front door without waiting for Gerard like he usually did. Gerard wanted to scream at him that it wasn't his _fault_ , hell it wasn't even _Frank's_ fault! If anything, it was Mikey's fault for forcing him to sit alone— Frank would never have approached him if he was surrounded by Mikey's gang. Yeah, it was Mikey's fault more than anybody else's; but to tell Mikey that would be as good as signing your own death warrant. Nobody _ever_ told Mikey Way it was his fault. _Nobody_.

Gerard went upstairs and drew for three hours straight. He ignored Mom asking him how he was and how his day had been— she had been asking for four days now, since his first day at school, and nothing changed. If anything each day was getting progressively _worse_ , but telling her that would just make her worry about him unnecessarily, and the last thing Gerard wanted was for Mom to worry about him. That would cause an argument and at his particular point in time, he wouldn't be able to rely on Mikey to side with him. Gerard couldn't deal with three people all siding against him.

He drew until his right hand was numb and his fingers started spasming from being curled around a pencil for so long. He drew until his charcoal pencil was blunt and useless. He drew until he was out of paper and he could smell the meal his Mother was cooking wafting through the crack under his bedroom door. He drew until he was out of inspiration. He drew until he couldn't draw anymore, and then, and only then, did he allow himself to look at what he had been drawing.

Gerard rarely drew still life images— he didn't find it easier in any way to draw from pictures rather than drawing from the images in his head. He found than imagination lit up the page, made it more animated, in a way that simply copying from a picture or scene in front of him couldn't.

In front of him was a rough sketch of a woman plunging a dagger into the heart of her lover, a wolf with big, staring eyes staring out of a television screen, a skeleton wearing a helmet - where that particular idea had come from, Gerard had no idea - and several sketches of a scorpion with a curly tail. At least four A3 sheets of paper were filled with dozens of small drawings of the same scorpion in different sizes. It was familiar to Gerard, like he had seen it before, but he couldn't for the life of him remember where from. That would annoy him all evening, he knew, until he remembered. Maybe he could ask Mikey… but them Mikey was angry at him right now, and pestering him with pointless questions wasn't going to ease the tension between them.

Gerard groaned and threw his pencil at the wall, watching as it bounced off and rolled under his bed, before throwing his head back in dismay. His life was a _mess_! His brother hated him, he had no friends to talk to and he was getting so desperate for company that he had conversed with the person who had been his brother' since sworn enemy for as long as Gerard could remember.

 _Why_ had he told Frank Iero that he didn't hate him, that he didn't think he was an asshole, that he didn't know him well enough to have an opinion? That was practically an invitation to talk to him; no _wonder_ Frank had started talking to him about Gerard's book. Gerard had been sending the wrong signals: when he should have been radiating hostility and unfriendliness, he had somehow given Frank the impression that he wanted him to stay, to stay and talk to him.

But some part of Gerard _had_ wanted Frank to talk to him. And he had smelt so _nice_ when he had leant so close to Gerard, like cologne and spices… the scent had been practically intoxicating…

And _this_ was what Gerard was talking about. Here he was, practically _swooning_ over the guy that had made his older brother's life a misery for as long they had _known_ each other! God, his loyalties should lie with brother, with his _family_ , not with some sexy, over-confident prick who had threatened Mikey and objectified Gerard within minutes of walking into school. Not only had Frank _ruined_ Gerard's chances of sinking under the radar and making friends in his classes but he had also lead to Mikey looking weak in the cafeteria today— a feat which Gerard was sure would not go unnoticed by the rest of the student body.

And Gerard was the cause of all of it. He felt _terrible_.

He sighed in ashamed resignation and collected every sheet of paper he had drawn on, folding them in half as neatly as he could manage and slotting them into his folder for art class. He would show them to Mr Reed on Monday, would go to his art classroom and take advantage of the man's kind offer to avoid any further embarrassment or confrontations that came with sitting alone in the cafeteria. He would be able to get feedback on his work and he might even be able to get his teacher to give him extra credit if he went back at lunchtime and put extra effort into his work. If he was Mr Reed's favourite pupil - which he suspected he _was_ \- then he was sure he would have no trouble persuading him. Maybe that could be the one good thing that came from Frank Iero talking to him today.

__

Dinner was awkward to say the least. Their parents picked up on the obvious tension between Gerard and Mikey immidiately - it was unmissable - and conversation flowed jerkily with elongated gaps in between questions and answers. Donna and Donald kept stealing glances at each of them in turn, like they thought they were being inconspicuous, and Gerard would shift uncomfortably in his chair every time their gazes settled on him. It was the sort of situation Gerard and Mikey would usually go upstairs and joke about after dinner was over, laughing at the way Mom and Dad had exchanged confused little looks across the table.

But that wouldn't happen, because Mikey was mad at him. Gerard couldn't stand it when Mikey was mad at him… and he _always_ caved first.

As soon as Mikey excused himself from the table and shut himself in his room for the night, Gerard stood up and followed him with a quiet, "thanks," to his Mom for making the meal. He knocked on Mikey's door and let himself in without waiting for an invitation; he knew his brother would probably make up some excuse about being busy - or just flat out tell him to fuck off - if he asked to come in

"Gerard," Mikey sighed as soon as he lifted his head up to see who had interrupted him. "What're you doing here?"

"I want to talk to you." Gerard replied as confidently as he could manage. He knew that if he let his voice shake or allowed himself to sound anything other than totally sure of himself now, Mikey wouldn't hear him out. He needed Mikey to listen to, and accept, what he had to say; and hopefully forgive him even though he didn't know what he'd done wrong. He just couldn't bear to be on bad terms with Mikey— it was a torture that couldn't be allowed to continue for any longer than a couple of hours. Mikey was his best friend - his _only_ friend - and how could Gerard fight with his best friend?

"What is it, Gerard?" Mikey asked, sounding tired, as though Gerard was wasting his time. Gerard probably _was_ wasting his time, but making amends with his brother was more important than Mikey talking to Alicia. Gerard watched as Mikey there'd a quick "goodbye" to his girlfriend before cancelling the call and laying his phone down.

"I know that you blame me," Gerard began. "You blame me for embarrassing you today and for Frank sitting next to me, but I couldn't have stopped him, okay?! It wasn't my _fault_ — what could I have _done_?"

"It didn't look like you wanted him to leave." Mikey sneered bitterly, jumping out of his seat and starting to pace his room. He only did that when he was _really_ mad. Gerard swallowed and took a step back to protect himself before remembering that he needed to be confident; the only way he could get what he wanted was by pretending to be sure of himself, and stepping back in fear wasn't going to help that.

"He came to _apologise_ , Mikey! He was _nice_!" Gerard didn't know why he was trying to defend Frank— to the guy's worst _enemy_ , of all people! He _really_ didn't owe him anything, but he felt obligated to. Frank had been so _nice_ , and he had leant so _close_ to Gerard earlier that day, and he had smelt _so_ _good_ …

"He's a _liar_ , _Gerard_!" Mikey screamed at him. Gerard had seen him this mad before, many, many times before, but this level of rage had never been directed at _him_ before. "He'll say whatever he thinks you want to hear, he'll manipulate you and he will _use_ you to get to _me_! I mean, why the hell did you think he was talking to you; because he _likes_ you?! Because he thought you looked _cool_? You're just a way for him to get to _me_ , and I can't let _you_ be the reason _my_ _gang_ fails. Do you understand me?"

Gerard took a shaky breath in, not trusting himself to say anything. He hated when people were mad at him, and it was even worse when it was Mikey who was yelling at him, telling him, essentially, that he was unlikeable. He wasn't stupid _or_ in denial. He knew he couldn't blame his social ineptness or his lack of friends on other people - except maybe Mikey and that gang - but to hear the person he looked up to and admired more than anyone else lay it out like that, like it was no big deal… it hurt. He blinked rapidly to get rid of the tears that threatened to well up.

"Why aren't you and Frank friends?" Gerard asked suddenly, his voice thick with tears. He didn't know where the question had come from, but when he thought about it, it was a good point. "You both want to same things: power, respect… you're practically exactly the same. In every other situation you'd be, like, best friends or something. So why aren't you?"

Mikey took a deep, shuddery breath. He was red in the face and out of breath from yelling, and he had started to look just a tiny bit guilty. He shook his head in confusion, but shrugged and flopped down onto his bed, splaying his limbs across the mattress and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Joint leadership never works Gerard— we couldn't be leader of the same gang. You know?" Mikey didn't open his eyes as he spoke.

"You never even tried." Gerard scoffed, and laughed so he wouldn't start crying.

***

At about the same time that Gerard was leaving his brother's room in tears, Frank Iero was leaning against the wall outside the school gates, an unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth as he oversaw his gang's current operation. A short, scrawny kid with a pimple on a his chin was pushed up against the wall next to him, Ray's fist gripping his shirt as he held the kid an inch above the ground. Where Ray got his upper body strength from Frank had no idea, but it was helping them to get the information he wanted so he wasn't not going to spend too long questioning it.

"Fuck off," Ray growled, letting go of the boy and watching as he scrambled desperately to pick up his bag and run in the opposite direction. "And keep your mouth shut!"

Frank didn't feel guilty about using fear and intimidation to get what he needed. Asking nicely hadn't worked - they tried that first because Ray hated to use his fists so close to school where any passing member of staff could see him - and Frank enjoyed showing cocky, arrogant freshmen where they belonged. It was entertaining to see them start to panic and then to plead with him not to hurt them; a refreshing change from their usual 'I'm the toughest guy in the school' behaviour. Freshmen were so _annoying_ ; they didn't know their place and their overconfident attitudes pissed Frank off unbelievably. This one had been just as bad. When Frank had first asked him about Gerard, the boy had sneered and muttered something about the "goth freak". Maybe he thought that badmouthing the younger brother of Frank's worst enemy was going to get them on good terms with him.

Ray had kicked him in the shins for that, and the boy had started crying.

"I didn't ask you what you _thought_ of him— I don't give a _shit_ about your opinion. I asked you what classes he was in. I _know_ you know; I've seen you two walking together." Frank pressed.

The boy had flushed, either angry or embarrassed, and reached up to swipe away at the tears on his cheeks. Ray hadn't done anything to stop him: the boy would have been far too weak to take on Ray, no matter where his hands were.

"Not _together_ , I'm not friends with that _freak_! We're in some classes together so we were walking to the same place— not _together_." The kid's face had twisted up in disgust and Frank was shocked at how vehemently he was against the idea of Gerard and he being friends. Frank had looked to Ray and nodded, allowing his friend to jab the kid swiftly in the gut, leaving him to double over in pain. It hadn't been as hard as a punch, but it had been painful enough to stop the kid mouthing off. His voice was giving Frank a headache.

"So what classes are you in together?" Frank had asked, cocking his head as he waited for a reply.

"Just English— English fourth period and Maths first. Those are the only classes we have together, I swear!" The boy - whose name Frank didn't even know - had promised, beginning to sound more desperate. Frank could tell he was being honest, and so he had given Ray the signal to let him go.

"So," Ray began now that they were alone. They started to walk in the direction of Ray's house. "You're really getting into this thing, huh?"

Frank raised an eyebrow, although he wasn't sure Ray would be able to see it. It was getting dark; they needed to get back or Ray's Mom would be worried. She always worried when they were out after nine, especially since Ray had had his leg broken by Pete Wentz. Unlike Frank's Mother, Ray's Mom knew everything about the gang and the fighting they did and how everything worked. She disapproved of it, but she had known the boys since they were all five years old and she loved them all. She wouldn't try to stop them, but she did her best to protect them.

"What do you mean?" Frank replied, although he knew what Ray meant. He fished a lighter out of his back pocket and finally lit his cigarette, inhaling deeply before holding it out to Ray, offering a drag. Ray declined.

"I mean this whole business with Gerard. What are you gonna do with his schedule, anyway? Wait outside his class for him?"

"Maybe." Frank shrugged. "It would have to look like an accident— he'd be a little freaked out if he thought I was stalking him."

"But you _are_ stalking him." Ray pointed out unhelpfully. They reached his house and Ray hunted around in his backpack for his front door keys, finding them eventually and sticking them in the lock. It was one minute to nine exactly: they had made curfew.

"You were the one who told me to befriend him in the first place— and look how _that_ turned out! Remind me to never approach him in the same vicinity as Mikey Way ever again. He was all over my ass before I could even start talking to the kid."

"Really?" Ray spoke, and this time his voice sounded different. When Frank looked round, he was able to see Ray smirking in the hallway light. "It looked like you were having an interesting chat from where _I_ was sitting."

Frank could hear Ray's Mom singing in the kitchen as she cooked - whatever she was making smelt good, Frank hadn't eaten in what felt like _ages_ \- and he shrugged, turning away so his friend wouldn't see his blush. _His_ _blush_. _Why_ _was_ _he_ _blushing_?! Frank couldn't remember the last time someone had made him blush, let alone with just the mention of someone three years _younger_ than him. Someone three years younger than him that he was supposed to be lying to and _using_.

Ray's Mom must have heard the door click shut behind them as it was closed, because she ventured out into the hallway to see who it was. She was wearing fluffy pink pyjamas and her hair was tied back into a messy bun; her face relaxed and her shoulders dropped when she saw who it was.

"Cutting it close, boys." She warned playfully, wrapping her arms around both of them in a bone crushing hug. After planting a kiss on each of their foreheads - something which Ray had learnt to stop complaining about years ago - she disappeared back into the kitchen. Over her shoulder she shouted, "Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Evan and James are already upstairs, like nice, _curfew_ - _respecting_ _children_!"

Ray groaned and shook his head. Ray's house had become the unofficial gang hangout for the four friends. Evan's house was overrun with siblings and James lived in a bungalow with three rooms and a bathroom. Frank's parents were going through a horrible divorce, and Frank liked to be out of the house as much as he could. Ray's house was where they went after school and every weekend.

Frank and Ray climbed the stairs in silence. Frank was still thinking about what Ray had said, about how he had blushed and about how Gerard had stood up to Mikey quietly, as though he was trying to draw as little attention as possible to his bravado. The kid was… interesting. Frank prided himself on being able to figure out a person's character in seconds - whether they were trustworthy, what their aim was, etcetera - and yet with Gerard, he couldn't figure it out. He couldn't figure Gerard out. The kid was a mystery, and Frank didn't know whether he wanted to solve it or not.

Evan jumped on them as soon as they entered Ray's bedroom, bombarding them with questions. Where had they been? What had they been doing? Why didn't they call Evan and James for backup? Had it been something to do with Way? Frank's head was spinning and all he wanted to do was lie down, eat a meal and watch television. He wanted to relax. He took a long drag of his cigarette before crushing it out in the spare ashtray he kept on Ray's bedside table: Ray's Mom hated when they smoker in the house - it created a horrible smell and the smoke made her eyes water whenever she went near her son's bedroom, she said - and it was her house. Frank would respect her wishes in her own house— especially since she had been like a Mother to him for as long as he could remember. She had really helped him these past few months, whilst his parents had been replaced with uncaring asshole who only wanted to better half on the divorce settlement. Frank wondered which side he would belong to when it was all over and done with.

"Chill _out_ , dude!" Frank commanded, shaking himself off as he flopped down into the space on the bed that wasn't being taken up by James and his school books. "We were by the school, getting info out of some kid. It wasn't a big deal so we didn't need backup. You didn't miss out on anything; I promise."

They nodded and decided not to press matters. If their leader wanted them to know what had gone on, he would tell them, and until Frank decided otherwise it was none of their business.

"So," James said, pushing aside his chemistry book in favour of addressing his friends. "Alicia Simmons is having a birthday party in a couple weeks: the twenty-second or twenty-third or something, I'm not sure. Whatever, but it would be a perfect time to have it out with Way. He'd be drunk, wouldn't be expecting you to be there. Take him by surprise and you'd _easily_ be able to knock him out."

"Yeah!" Ray agreed animatedly, shoving Frank's shoulder. "That would gain you public popularity and more respect than Way for a month, maybe two if we're lucky."

"Alicia _Simmons_?" Frank snorted. "Yeah, only one problem there: we most definitely will _not_ be invited, and _no_ _one_ gets into one of Alicia's parties without an invite. She has _bouncers_ at the door and shit, man. Fuckin' _bouncers_. _No_ _one_ gets in there without an invite."

"Yes _but_ ," Ray grinned and drew out each syllable. "We know someone who can get us an invite— or at least, _you_ do, Frank."

Frank turned to look at him, frowning in confusion until he saw the raised eyebrow on his friend's face and remembered their earlier conversation. He groaned, rolling over and kicking off a bunch of James' papers in the process.

"You've gotta be kidding me." He breathed.

" _What_?!" Ray cried. "You're already befriending him! You may as well try and get him to get us an invite! It has to be worth a _try_ , right Frankie?"

Frank pushed his face into Ray's sheets - probably something he should have been cautious about doing after _last_ _time_ \- and folded his arms over his head. He couldn't believe he was in this situation, having to rely on his _charms_ to secure the future of his gang. He was essentially placing the future of his gang into the hands of a socially inept _teenager_!

"Gerard doesn't really strike me as the party type, y'know?" Frank argued snarked. "He probably won't even go."

"He'll go if you ask him to go with you." Evan contributed to the conversation.

"What, like a date?" Frank asked dumbly. _No_ _shit_ , he answered himself in his head. "You want me to ask him on a date?"

Evan leaned so close that Frank could see the whites of his eyes. He looked far too serious all of a sudden and Frank's was getting worse. He wondered if Ray's Mom had any aspirin she might give him. He needed another cigarette but he couldn't smoke in here.

"I want— no, the gang _needs_ you to do whatever it takes to bring Mikey Way down. We've all worked so hard to get to the top of the food chain, Frank, and the only thing stopping us from owning the entire school is Mikey Way and his gang. We need to beat them. We've got one more year to do this Frank, before all our efforts will be gone. We'll leave school and never see Mikey Way again. We have to win before then; we're relying on you."

Frank didn't reply. He just stared at Evan, and then Ray and then James and then his hands. It had taken a lot to get into his position, Evan was right, and it wasn't undoubtedly worth it, but sometimes…

Sometimes he wished he was back in Gerard's position. Sometimes he wished he was back in freshman year with a clean slate and a fresh attitude, eager to make friends and stay out of trouble. How has he got to here? Why did it matter so much anyway?

"Boys!" Ray's Mom shouted from downstairs before Frank could respond. He was grateful. "Dinner's ready!"

Evan, Ray and James all filed out of the room, rushing to get to the food before it all disappeared. Frank waited in Ray's room for a moment longer, just breathing deeply and thinking on his own. Then he too got up and descended the stairs.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo… Team Mikey or Team Frank?? ;)


	4. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Gerard and Mikey still weren't speaking by Monday, and this time Gerard wasn't prepared to apologise in the hopes that their argument would just be forgotten. Mikey would hold a grudge until he apologised, he knew that, but he wasn't going to just bow down and say sorry for something that wasn't his fault so that they could be friends again. Especially not after all those mean things Mikey had said.

As soon as they pulled up in the parking lot, Gerard was out of the car before Mikey had even turned off the engine and then he was hurrying forwards towards the main entrance. He didn't want to walk behind Mikey - didn't even want to be near him - and he didn't want to wait for Mikey to give him a talk about how, if anyone from Frank Iero's gang tried to talk to him, he needed to walk away immediately and go and find him. He had tried that the night before, his words harsh and tone cold to let Gerard know that, even though they were having a conversation, it didn't mean that they were alright now. Gerard had told him to piss off and had migrated into the kitchen where he knew Mikey wouldn't follow.

He wouldn't talk about the gangs in front of Mom.

Gerard had Maths first and the thought gave him a headache. His Maths teacher always made the students do group work at the beginning of the lesson for at least twenty minutes before starting to teach them, and Gerard _hated_ group work. It wasn't just that nobody talked to him or tried to include him in the work, or even _acknowledged_ him - he would have been fine with that, he _thought_ \- but it was also that they didn't even _pretend_ that they weren't afraid of him. If he said anything, suggested a way to work out a problem or so much as asked to borrow a _calculator_ , they would immidiately nod and act as if it was the best idea they'd ever heard. Gerard didn't know if they thought he was going to get Mikey to beat them up if they didn't agree with everything he said, but it was starting to get on his nerves.

On top of the stressful situation with Mikey and Frank Iero, he wasn't sure how many more 'subtle' glances and terrified looks he could stand. He was going to snap sometime soon, and he was sure the aftermath wouldn't be pretty.

"Watch it." Someone said angrily as he brushed their shoulder accidentally. He didn't know why people acted as if knocking shoulders with someone was such a big deal - it was a crowded hallway, the chances of fucking _touching_ someone were high - but he muttered a grudging apology to them nontheless. When he looked up, he saw the guy he had walked into: he was tall and broad shouldered with brown curly hair that stuck out from his head in every direction. Gerard had seen him before.

This in itself wasn't that surprising - it was school, and you were likely to see the same person more than once - but Gerard would have thought he'd be able to recognise somebody so… _recognisable._ The guy seemed to recognise Gerard too, because when he looked up and saw who he'd snapped at, his eyes widened and he froze in the process of closing his locker. Gerard just managed to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

_Great,_ he thought, _another person who's terrified of Mikey. And therefore terrified of me._

"Oh, hey!" The guy said, smiling like he hadn't just passive aggressively told the younger boy to 'watch it'. "Sorry, I didn't realise it was—" he stopped himself before he finished. He must have realised that saying ' _I didn't realise it was you'_ was a tad too obvious.

"Me." Gerard finished the sentence for him, flatly. "You didn't realise it was me. Don't worry— I'm not exactly going to win a fight against you, am I?" 

It was meant as a joke— a bitter, sarcastic joke but a joke nonetheless. However, the guy didn't smile or laugh and, to Gerard's relief, didn't even take the joke as a threat and stammer out another apology. He had a confused, intrigued sort of expression on his face with an undertone of what Gerard could only describe as curiosity. Gerard frowned at the strange expression when suddenly, like a tonne of bricks, it hit him. He knew where he'd seen this guy before, knew where he recognised him from.

This guy was from Frank Iero's gang, he remembered seeing him sitting at Frank's table with the rest of his gang when the older boy had first spoken to him. Was it Evan, or Ray, or Bob? Gerard didn't have a clue, but he realised now that the guy hadn't meant his earlier sentence because he was afraid of him. So why had he said sorry? For that matter, why had _Frank_ said sorry? 

"Sorry." Gerard blurted out before he could stop himself, his eyes widening as he took an involuntary step backwards. "I—" 

"Didn't realise it was me." Ray repeated what Gerard had said earlier, smiling happily again. The guy sure did like to smile, Gerard noticed. He smiled like it didn't cost him anything. "Don't worry about it."

Gerard opened his mouth and then shut it, trying to think of something to say in response to that. Mikey had told him so many stories about how horrible the people in Frank Iero's gang were; how they were unforgiving and how they were practically criminals - Gerard was sure he'd heard somewhere that Frank had been in a juvenile detention facility at least twice - and yet everyone he'd met so far had been perfectly nice and polite and friendly to him. Usually, he would take Mikey's word over his own impression of people, they were family after all, but what with the current animosity between his brother and himself, Gerard wasn't sure he wanted to believe anything Mikey said. _Especially not after all those mean things Mikey had said about Gerard._

Gerard remembered Mikey telling him that if anyone from Frank's gang tried to talk to him, he should go and find Mikey and tell him, but Ray wasn't being mean. Ray - because Gerard was semi-certain this one was called Ray - wasn't trying to hurt him, and he hadn't said anything remotely offensive.

"I'm— I have to go." Gerard settled for saying after a long, awkward pause. He wasn't lying; he really did have to go, and he realised how late he was going to be as the second bell rang. The second bell rang when classes started— Gerard was supposed to be in Maths already. He hadn't noticed the hallways clearing out, but suddenly he was very aware that it was only he and Ray left alone.

Ray shrugged and smiled _again,_ lifting up a hand to wave as Gerard stumbled his way along the corridor.

"Bye," he called cheerily. "Have a good day!" 

Gerard was late to Maths by ten minutes, but not even his teacher seemed to notice when he snuck in without an apology or an explanation. He didn't have either to give.

__

Frank was waiting outside Gerard's Maths classroom at the end of first lesson. He had skipped his own first lesson and decided that today was as good a day as any to get started on the arduous task of befriending Gerard Way. It wasn't that he didn't like the kid or that he didn't want to be be friends with him - Frank surprised himself by admitting that he did, in fact, want to be friends with Gerard - but he was certain that as soon as Gerard saw him he would run away.

Mikey had talked to him over the weekend, of that there was no doubt. He would have explicitly ordered him to stay away from Frank Iero or any of his friends, but Frank wondered whether Gerard would obey him. Frank had seen Mikey tell his younger brother what to do before and the kid had blatantly refused, going so far as to swear at Mikey and then walk away. Gerard was probably the only person in whole school who could get away with doing that, Frank thought.

There was a loud wail from above him and Frank winced as he realised too late that he'd been standing directly under one of the bells in the hallway. There was a sudden dramatic rise in volume as the door to the Maths class swung open and the students surged forward, eager to get out. Frank didn't not have to step backwards or out of the way— as soon as the freshmen saw him, they fell silent and parted from their friends to move out of his way. They had learnt their place, Frank noted.

Gerard was out last, of course, dressed in his baggy uniform with his long hair hanging over his face. His head was directed at the ground and he didn't notice Frank was there until the older boy walked forward and stopped in front of him. Gerard looked up when he saw the pair of scuffed combat boots in front of him, and that the person attached to them wasn't moving anywhere.

He didn't look particularly surprised when he saw it was Frank, but the older boy did see a flash of recognition in Gee's eyes. He almost looked like he expected Frank to be there, waiting for him, when he got out of class. But, to Frank, that didn't make any sense.

"Hey," Frank said. He had forgotten that he was supposed to be making their meeting out to be a coincidence, and now that he was standing here in front of Gerard with the boy's full attention, he couldn't think of a single thing to say. His hands were clammy so he shoved them into the pockets of his black slacks— although he didn't know why. The only way Gee would discover his nervousness would be by holding his fucking _hand,_ and that was _definitely_ not going to happen.

"Frank." Gerard replied. It wasn't phrased a question, but somehow Frank knew it was. He knew, just by hearing the kid say that one word, that he was asking a truckload of questions without saying any of them outloud. He was asking, ' _what are you doing here?'_ and, ' _why are you even talking to me?'_ and, ' _what are you hoping to get out of this?'_

But Frank couldn't answer any of those questions - not honestly, and he didn't want to lie to Gerard - so instead he just shrugged and started walking in the direction of his second period class. It was a long shot, and in hindsight Frank shouldn't have taken the risk - they needed to get an invitation to that _damned_ party within two weeks, and every second counted - but he had a feeling that if he started walking, Gee would follow him.

It worked.

Frank didn't even know if Gerard's next lesson was in this direction, he got a warm sensation in the pit of his stomach at the thought that Gerard was walking in the wrong direction just to spend a little more time with him, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Gerard bit his lip, looked down the opposite corridor and then seemed to make up his mind as he hurried to catch up with Frank. 

"How was your weekend?" Frank inquired conversationally. The older boy wasn't the best at striking up a casual conversation and his small-talk skills were a little rusty. He'd just have to practise more often.

"Shitty." Gerard replied, but didn't elaborate. Frank had to remind himself that he didn't care; he didn't care how Mikey's brother's weekend was, or why he didn't want to tell Frank more than that. Did he? 

"What about yours?" Gerard went on, equally as casual. Frank couldn't quite believe he was walking to _class_ , having a perfectly civilised conversation with his worst enemy's _brother_ about his _weekend_. Before he could think about it too much, he coughed and shrugged.

"Same old, same old, y'know. Terrorised a few kids, killed a few puppies, pushed a few old ladies into the road. The norm." He couldn't hold back a smirk when he saw Gerard's eyes widen, and he cracked up laughing when he realised the kid really didn't know he was joking.

Gerard breathed out in an angry huff and he crossed his arms over his chest adorably. Frank grinned as he saw the boy's lips twitch upwards.

"Asshole," Gerard muttered good naturedly and reached out to hit Frank's upper arm in the same way that Frank had seen the cheerleaders do to their lacrosse-team boyfriends. The kind of hit that really meant,  _I'm going to pretend I don't like this but it actually turns me on._

Frank stopped in his tracks in the hallway at the sudden, unexpected thought at exactly the same time that Gerard came to shaky halt. One look at his face told Frank that Gerard had probably just remembered who he was with, and that you weren't supposed to call Frank Iero an asshole, much less _hit_ him.

The younger boy spun to face Frank looking legitimately terrified, but he didn't apologise. Either he knew he wouldn't have to, for whatever reason, or he was too proud— Frank didn't know which option he found more likely.

"Just kidding," Frank spoke softly as he examined Gerard's face in close detail once again. The kid really did have the most extraordinary eyes - a kind of mixture of brown and green with barely noticeable flecks of gray - and luscious-looking pink lips  which were contantly being wetted by his tongue, Frank thought, as it darted out of his mouth yet again.

"Gerard," Frank began, not really sure what he was about to say but willing to make it up as he went along if that was what it took. "You're not your brother, you know."

Gee raised an eyebrow, replying with, "I know that." Frank heard the underlying question in his answer: _what's your point?_

"What I'm trying to say is… even though your brother and I may have certain _difficulties_ in getting along, you aren't— you're a separate identity and I'm not going to judge you just by how I feel about your brother. You deserve… more than that. Okay?"

Gerard blinked and blushed, looking down at his feet to hide his flushed cheeks. When he looked up at Frank, his pink lips were pulled up into a small smile and he tucked a stray strand of hair behind his ears. It was the first time since Frank had seen the boy - which, admittedly, was only about a week ago - that he had paid any kind of attention to his wild hair.

"Um… thanks— thank you, I guess. I'll, I mean— I'll try to do the same. Sometimes Mikey exaggerates things and… yeah. I'm sure not everything he said about you was true."

Frank smiled, but inwardly he was smirking. He had already managed to get Gerard to speak against his family in favour of himself; maybe this wouldn't be as hard as he'd previously thought.

"Yeah well, I have to get to class." Frank pointed at a closed door a little further up the corridor, behind which the lesson was already well underway. "But, I'll see you around Gerard."

Gerard nodded, still blushing and smiling, and Frank's eyes lit up as he watched the kid turn around and walk back the way he had come to get to his second lesson.

***

Mr Reed was right where he said he'd be at lunchtime: in his room. Gerard was relieved to have an excuse to visit his room and, well, if the teacher had meant what he'd said about letting Gerard use his room then it wouldn't go unappreciated. He didn't know how much longer he could stand having to sit completely alone, feeling hundreds of pairs of eyes trained on his back and hearing hushed whispers whenever he walked by.

"Hi, Sir." Gerard said meekly, poking his head round the door and waiting for Mr Reed to look up before stepping through the door totally. "I have… some artwork I was hoping you could look after." 

Mr Reed smiled welcomingly and beckoned Gerard closer, closing whatever book he had been writing in and pushing his chair back from the desk.

"Of course," he enthused. "Come over here; let me take a look at it."

Gerard bit his lip and opened his bag, pulling out all of the drawings he completed over the weekend and handing them over to his teacher. "I was hoping you could keep them here— look after them, y'know? It's just, I know that if I keep them in my book they'll get crumpled or torn and if I leave them at home I'll inevitable lose them or spill something on them. Would that be okay?— I also thought that I found I kept them at school, they could count towards my final grade?"

He winced as he thought about all the requests he was making of his teacher, but Mr Reed seemed fairly unbothered by all the questions.  He just nodded and smiled and pointed at individual sketches on the paper, murmuring, "I like this one," or, "this one is _really_ good."

Gerard took a seat at the nearest table after a while, pulling out his English book and finishing off a homework sheet he had been asked to complete earlier that day. It took him about fifteen minutes, but when he eventually finished it he looked up to see Mr Reed watching him. It made him vaguely uncomfortable.

"Sir?" He asked curiously. 

"Sorry, Gerard." Mr Reed apologised, blinking several times and focusing back on Gerard's work. "But yes, I would be more than happy to look after these drawings for you, and of course they can count towards your final grade. Is it alright if I take them home to grade? They'd probably be safer at my home than in a cupboard somewhere in an art class."

"Um, yeah." Gerard brushed the question off. It didn't really make a difference, he decided. "Sure. But I should go now— I have to get to homeroom soon."

"Ah, of course. Well thank you for bringing these to me, Gerard, _and_ for actually showing an interest in artwork. It's more than I can say for my _other_ pupils, that's for sure." He chuckled at his own comment and Gerard laughed along nervously, feeling as though it would be rude not to.

"Well, thanks for letting me stay here, Sir. It was… helpful." Gerard waved goodbye awkwardly and then turned, not waiting for a response before he left the classroom and made his way towards his homeroom. He had been late to two of his lessons already today; he wanted to be early to at least one of them.

Gerard couldn't stop thinking about what Frank had said, and how he had explained that 'Gerard wasn't his brother'. Didn't that essentially say that what Mikey had said on Friday - that Frank only wanted to talk to Gee to get to _Mikey_ \- wasn't true? Didn't it basically _admit_ that Frank really was talking to him because he wanted to get to know him?

Gerard didn't know— and he was very aware that it shouldn't matter to him. He shouldn't care what _Frank_ _Iero_ of all people thought of him, and he _definitely_ shouldn't want to get to know him.

But he _did_ care, and just the memory of talking to Frank earlier made his stomach overturn; it gave him butterflies.

He wanted to talk to Frank Iero again. He shouldn't… but he couldn't help it. He did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as Christmas break is sadly over, I think I'm going to make these chapters slightly shorter as I'll have a lot more things going on now. The first three chapters were all over four thousand words, but I think I'll lower that to three thousand words being the minimum so I can keep updating frequently. Is that okay?
> 
> As always, please leave kudos, comment and subscribe if you like it! :)  
> Enjoy! <3


	5. How The Mighty Have Fallen (From High Above)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took longer to get up— hopefully it was worth the wait!  
> Also, a massive thank you to anyone who read/commented on/left kudos on the last chapter, it means so much to me. :)  
> Enjoy <3

Mikey spoke to Gerard once over the next few days, only once, and only to tell him that he would be skipping school with his friends and that Gerard would have to find another lift home or get the bus. Gerard hated getting the bus— he had only been on it a couple of times but every time had been the same old process: he sat at the front because the back was where the "cool" kids sat, he was alone because nobody wanted to get to know him and risk getting in trouble with Mikey and he had to avoid the gaze of the creepy bus driver who always seemed to be watching him in the rear view mirror whenever Gerard glanced over. 

Other than that, it really shouldn't have made much of a difference to his day. Mikey wasn't talking to him, refused to acknowledge him when they encoutered each other in the hallways, he even started blanking him when Gerard would try to talk to him at _home_! It was too much, Gerard thought, for speaking the truth. All he did was stand up for himself, and point out what Mikey was trying to overlook; indifference was worse than aggression, and Gerard was being subjected to it. He didn't deserve it, he knew that.

Gerard still didn't have anybody to eat with at lunch, but he had been back to Mr Reed's art classroom a couple of times. The teacher would just a smile and wave him inside - there was never anybody else there, so he wondered if he was the only student Mr Reed had invited - and ask him to do something work for the next forty-five minutes. Sometimes he struck up a conversation with Gerard, but mostly they just sat in silence, each of them absorbed in their own work. Gerard didn't mind; Mr Reed was nice and he let Gee eat in his class— he didn't tell him he should be making friends "his own age" or that he was wrong to talk to certain people. He kept complimenting his artwork in class and didn't even mind it when Gerard somehow managed to get acrylic paint on the man's work shirt.

He just took it off, right there in the classroom, and substituted it for a spare he had stored in his bag. He didn't even make Gerard apologise…

Today though, Gerard was barely able to make it through his first four classes before the bell for lunch began; he had a pounding headache and the school nurse wouldn't give him any pain medication without a signed form showing parental consent, which Gerard didn't have. He made a mental note to himself, as he snatched the paper out of the nurse's hand, to get his parents to sign it as soon as possible. He would have asked around to see if any of his classmates had ibuprofen or another such painkiller, but he didn't want to risk them slipping him something else instead as a prank. Mikey wasn't here, so there was an increased chance of bullying…

Or maybe Gerard was just stupidly paranoid. Why would anyone want to drug him or make fun of him? He hadn't done anything to them.

Gerard slid into his seat in the cafeteria at lunch. People had stopped sitting at this table as soon as he arrived; even if he arrived twenty minutes late after staying after class - his Spanish teacher often kept him behind to re-revise for the vocabulary test that he'd flunked - his table would be empty and people would manoeuvre away from it if he _was_ sitting there.

In some ways it was nice to have his own table: at least it was one thing he could control in this hellish school, but at the same time it gave him a sense of loneliness. After only a few weeks at this school, he has already managed to render one table in the cafeteria unusable, just by sitting at it.

Whatever, he decided. If Mikey didn't want to talk to him, then that was fine. And if the other people in his classes didn't want to talk to him either, well that was just fine as well. Gerard was fine on his own; he didn't need lots of friends to be happy or a big brother that didn't ignore him. He was just _fine_ on his own—

"Hey!" Gerard squeaked in surprise when he heard the voice, far too close for comfort, and jerked away from the tabletop in surprise. As he'd gotten lost in his own thoughts, he hadn't realised he'd gradually been bending over to rest his head on the surface of the table. The voice - the _person_ \- had taken him completely by surprise. 

"Hey!" The person said again, completely unphased by Gerard almost falling over right in front of them. Gerard caught his breath before looking up, and recognised the person immediately.

"Ray," he said as a reply, remembering the big-haired, smiley senior he had run into - literally - the other day. "Hi."

He couldn't help it when his eyes darted around nervously, looking for anyone that could be watching them. Just because Mikey and his friends were supposed to be out for the day didn't mean that one of them could have stayed behind. Pete or Patrick or even _Alicia_  could spot him talking to one of Frank's friends, one of his _gang members,_  and rat him out to his brother before the lunch period was even over.

But then, with a newfound confidence that he was sure wouldn't last him to the end of the day, Gerard decided it didn't matter. It simply didn't matter if someone saw him and Mikey somehow found out; he didn't care. His older brother was already withholding all forms of affection or care— he wasn't even _talking_ to Gerard for Christ's sake! What more could Mikey do to him?— He was already doing his worst, in Gerard's opinion. A beating couldn't hurt more than having his entire existence ignored, even though Gerard knew Mikey would never, _ever_ beat him up.

"You mind if I sit here?" Ray asked, still grinning like the Cheshire-fucking-cat. Gerard bet he still smiled like that when he was attacking innocent people…

Gerard rid his head of the bad thought and blinked. 

"You mean, for a minute or for, like, the _whole_ lunch time?" He asked, cringing at how stupid and _young_ he sounded. He should have just said "no", or that he couldn't stop him. He shouldn't have embarrassed himself by asking _stupid_ questions.

"Well, my friends and I were kind of bored on our own, y'know?" Ray replied cheerily, not actually answering Gerard's question at all.

"Wait, your… friends?" Gerard didn't have time to dwell on what _that_ meant before his table was being swarmed by pretty much the entirety of Frank's gang. All of his brothers enemies, everyone he had been explicitly told not to talk to or have anything to do with, were now sat eating lunch with him on the one day his brother wasn't there to threaten them. Mikey would have a heart attack if he could see Gerard now.

For some reason, that made Gerard feel more satisfied than it should have done.

Gerard didn't recognise any of the others sat with him; he hasn't spoken to any of them so they were practically strangers, and it was more than a little nerve-wracking— but of course, sat right next to Gerard at the table was none other than Frank Iero. There were a lot of people there all trying to crowd around one circular table, so Gerard was squashed up between Frank and another guy with a Mohawk and three eyebrow piercings.

Frank was so close that Gee could smell his sweat, and he wondered if the older boy - man? - has just had P.E. Did you still have to take P.E if you were a senior? Gerard knew Mikey didn't, but he also knew his brother skipped at least half of his lessons on a regular basis so that wasn't a great comparison.

"Hey, Gee." Frank said lowly, leaning close to the younger boy to be heard. Nothing seemed to have changed in Frank's group of friends. They were still being uproariously noisy and obnoxiously ignorant of everyone else around them; they didn't bother to try and include Gerard in their conversation even though they had taken over his table uninvited.

"I haven't seen you around here in a while." Frank continued when Gerard didn't reply. He was afraid to look up, to face Frank and speak to him, because he just _knew_  that if he did their faces would be far too close. He'd have to lean in close to be heard by the older boy and then he'd get nervous and stutter through his answer and humiliate himself further.

He shrugged and mumbled something inaudible over the thrum of the crowd.

" _Huh_?!" Frank yelled directly into Gerard's ear, making him jump. He felt Frank's breath ghosting over his ear and he broke out in goosebumps, wrapping his arms around himself so he wouldn't shudder. 

"I— I said 'I've been staying in art a lot'. I, um, catch up on my work." He repeated, winding when he had to lean closer to Frank. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ to be closer to Frank, _he_ did… or, he _thought_ he did… or he didn't know what the fuck he wanted. He wanted Frank closer, he wanted Frank to leave him alone. He wanted Mikey to stop meddling with his business, he didn't want Mikey to be indifferent to what he did. He didn't know what the _fuck_ he wanted.

"Oh, I thought you'd be an art student." Frank grinned, causing Gee to frown.

"Why?" He asked, turning to Frank and blushing all over again when he noticed how close they were. It was stupid, he was just as close to the guy on his other side as he was to Frank; why was he noticing things like that?

"I'd seen you coming from that direction— the drama, music and art corridor I mean." Frank explained, clarifying what he meant quickly as though he thought Gerard didn't understand already. 

"Why not drama or music?" 

"Well," Frank grinned again, looking at Gerard before laughing and shaking his head. "Don't worry about it. I just guessed is all."

"No," Gerard pressed, finding it easier than he thought it would be to hold a conversation with the guy. He was always surprised with how easy it was to get along with Frank after years and years of being told that he was nothing more than a bully. "Tell me."

"Well," Frank began slowly, looking around. "It's kind of loud; you wanna get out of here? It'd be easier to talk outside."

What Gerard _should_ have said was that he didn't want to leave. It was cold outside, or he had homework to do, or he needed to read or just plain _no_ wouldhave been better than what he _did_ say.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure."

***

Gerard let Frank lead the way after they left the cafeteria because the only places he could have though of to go himself would be the library of Mr Reed's art classroom, and he was sure that wasn't the kind of place Frank had had in mind when he'd said, "get out of here". Although, he supposed, he really didn't know what Frank meant by that. He couldn't act like he had a single clue what went through Frank Iero's head at any given time.

They walked in silence. Gerard had to walk quickly to keep up with Frank's large strides, and even then he fell so far behind him that when he finally reached where he'd been taking them, Gerard was still only halfway across the playing field. It seemed that the older boy's destination was the bleachers… how clichéd. Frank waited patiently for Gee to catch up with him and then continued walking further, turning to the side suddenly until they were _under_ the bleachers, only able to see the main school building through the gaps in between benches.

"C'mon," Frank said amicably, proceeding to lie flat on the ground. He patted the muddy earth next to him and reached into his backpack's front pocket, pulling out a small tin and a lighter. "Come lie with me."

Gerard wrapped his arms around himself anxiously again. For the first time, it was occurring to him that maybe he shouldn't have come out here. He was all alone with Frank Iero, his brother's worst enemy, far away from the school so that if anything happened there would be no way he could outrun the other boy back there. If this was all just a trap, if Frank had brought him out here to hurt him, then there would be nothing he could do to stop it. He bit his lip and shifted from his left foot to his right, not moving.

"Jesus Christ," Frank laughed shortly, struggling to open the lid of the tin. It was proving difficult, probably due to his horizontal position. "Stop acting like I'm gonna jump you or something. Come lie _down_!" 

Gerard weighed up the pros and cons of lying down. Pro: it might make Frank like him more (it would certainly make him seem _cooler.)_ Con: it would leave him vulnerable to an attack. Pro: it would give him the opportunity to lie next to Frank. Con: it would—

"Lie the fuck _down_ , kid!" Frank interrupted. Gerard would have thought he was getting aggressive if it weren't for the sexy smirk plastered across his face as he said it. "Unless you'd rather go back to your artwork?"

 _Fuck it,_ Gerard thought. Frank had never made him feel uneasy before, not since that first day at least when he had started a fight with Mikey in the hallway, and Frank had even _said_ he didn't dislike Gerard the day before. He had nothing to be afraid of. Nothing at all.

Keeping this in mind, he shrugged his bag off his shoulder and lay down on the ground next to Frank. At first he didn't know what to do - did he turn his head to the side to look at the other guy or was that too intimate? Did he speak first or wait for Frank to say something? - but eventually he settled on staying silent and counting how many pieces of chewing gum he could see stuck to the underneath of the bleachers. It was actually quite therapeutic, but before he could really get into it Frank shattered the silence.

"So what were we talking about? Before we came out here, I mean."

Gerard cleared his throat and swallowed so that his voice wouldn't sound squeaky when he spoke. 

"Um, art I think." He replied briefly, hoping Frank would take over the conversation from there. No such luck though, and he was rewarded with the older boy hissing out a pleased, " _yes!"_ when he finally managed to open the tin. He went on to pick out a small piece of paper and roll it up around whatever strange substance he got out of the tin.

"You said you didn't think I'd take music or drama. Why?" Gerard wanted to lean over and see what Frank was doing with his hands, but he didn't want to seem too interested. It became apparent, however, when he picked up the lighter and lit the end of his makeshift joint. 

Frank inhaled deeply before replying. "You're too shy to act in front of a whole class. You can't even speak to people without stuttering— there's no fucking way you'd be able to take drama and remain sane. Same with music; you'd be too shy to play an instrument in front of everybody. Art is easy; you don't have to put yourself out there. You can just draw, and it's nothing personal. You know what I mean?"

Frank turned his head to the side and Gerard's breath caught in his throat as he copied the action. _Not too intimate then…_ Gerard thought.

"Yeah," he answered softly. "I don't think I agree though."

"No?" Frank questioned lazily, inhaling deeply through the joint before blowing out a yellow-coloured smoke out of his nose and mouth. Gerard got distracted watching the way his Adam's apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed, and how his nose twitched ever so slightly every time he breathed in. It was really quite beautiful.

"No," Gerard asserted, unsurprisingly finding himself more comfortable to speak to Frank when they weren't surrounded by Frank's terrifying friends. "With art… yes, maybe you're not standing up and doing something in front of a large crowd, but you're still putting yourself out there. Drawing is like, like… transferring a little piece of your soul onto the paper, and then people. It's leaving you open and vulnerable to attack. That's what it's like for me, anyway." 

When Gerard looked round, Frank was staring at him intensely and he blushed. He hadn't meant to get so passionate about the subject when Frank was probably just making a passing comment, but he couldn't help it. When he talked about art, he had to speak his mind or he would feel like he was betraying himself and everyone else who felt the same way. He couldn't do that.

"That's cool." Frank said at last, softly this time. "That you feel so strongly about it. It never felt like that to me, but I know what you mean. You're expressing yourself, right?— So you have to be brave."

"Yeah," Gerard answered, smiling warmly when he realised Frank didn't think he was a freak. 

There was a comfortable quiet then; the only noise was the distant yells of students in the school across the field and the slow sucking sound of Frank taking steady drags of his cigarette. Gerard found himself watching him - unable to stop himself - and when Frank tilted his head to the side, revealing more of his neck to Gerard, the boy's eyes were immediately drawn to the artistic scorpion tattoo on his neck. The same scorpion that Gerard had been drawing obsessively all weekend.

He blushed as he realised; he'd obviously seen Frank's tattoo and his subconscious had memorised every little detail about it. Gerard would have liked to have said that that was just his mind's way of expressing itself and it's artistic capabilities, but, he had to admit now, it was probably just him obsessing over Frank Iero.

_Frank fucking Iero._

"Gee," Frank said loudly, and Gerard startled. He'd obviously been zoning out and Frank had been speaking to him; when he hadn't replied, the guy had decided to crawl closer to Gerard so he was practically on top of him, holding the joint in one hand with his other placed firmly by Gerard's head, his arm holding his body up. Gerard gasped, shocked, and his eyes widened dramatically.

Frank giggled and that was sure as hell one of the sexiest things Gerard had ever heard.

"Hi," he said quietly, not moving from his position on top of Gerard. He was so close that Gee could feel his body heat radiating off him. "Where did you just go?"

Gerard let out a little huff that was supposed to be a laugh, his heart beginning to race. He could feel Frank's breath fluttering across his face and his breath smelt like weed— like Mikey's room did whenever his gang came over. Gerard had always thought it was disgusting when it was Mikey that did it, but now it was Frank doing it instead… well, Gerard was just fine with it.

"Open your mouth." Frank ordered, smirking. Gerard's eyebrows rose comically high, and just as he was about to retract everything he said about Frank _not_ being an insensitive dick, the older boy raised his other hand - the one with the cigarette in it - wiggling it around a little and licking his bottom lip. 

"Quickly!" He laughed again. "My arm fucking hurts!" 

Gerard was about to open his mouth… to say no. He was going to say he didn't want to smoke weed, to do drugs, to get addicted and fuck up his life; but then he thought about it, and reconsidered. Everybody smoked weed: Mikey and his friends, Frank and his friends, probably most of the kids in their high school. Gerard could do it every once in a while without it being detrimental to his health.

Besides, he decided, Frank would like him if he saw him as some loser freshman who was too scared to break the rules.

He opened his mouth and tucked his tongue back, scrunching his nose up in distaste as a strand of long black hair got past his lips. He didn't move to get rid of it though, and instead he waited patiently for Frank to place the cigarette in his mouth.

Frank moved slowly, a big change from his usual, fast-paced lifestyle. When he finally pushed the end of the joint into Gerard's mouth, the top of his index finger brushed against Gerard's top lip. The younger boy's whole body jerked when he felt Frank's fingers pushing his lips apart and repositioning the cigarette in his mouth.

"There," Frank winked, his top lip curling up. "Now suck."

Gerard sucked, then coughed; both at Frank's choice of words and at the sensation of the thick smoke settling in the back of his throat. Since it was his first time smoking _anything_ , it still felt like the smoke was choking him, but the weed did taste nice. He could understand why people did this so often, even though it was bad for them. He could see why Frank did it.

"Easy there," Frank joked. "It's always funny to see someone smoke for the first time. It's like watching them lose their virginity." 

"Their smoking virginity?" Gerard questioned, giggling a little because it seemed to ridiculous to him. He could be getting high already, not after just one puff. He took another deep breath to see if it made any difference, and giggled again when it made his eyes water. "How long does this stuff take?"

"You?" Frank snorted. "Not long, kid. Not long at all."

"I don't wanna— don't wanna go back to class high." Gerard hiccuped in the middle of his sentence. 

"So don't go back to class." Frank suggested, his tone implying that it was the obvious solution. Gerard bit his lip; he was already breaking about a dozen rules: leaving the cafeteria at lunch without a bathroom pass, being on the playing field without staff supervision, using illegal substances on school grounds… the list went on. Did he really want to add skipping school to the number of things he could be in trouble for? 

"Hey, gimme that." Frank made towards Gerard, to take the cigarette. "You're gonna smoke all of it before I'm even high."

Gerard handed it over willingly, groaning a little when his head felt foggy. Instead of feeling on top of the world like he was supposed to, he just felt a little nauseas and groggy. Maybe he was allergic to weed… bullshit. No one was allergic to weed. If Frank could smoke it, so could Gerard. He'd just have to— have to… what was he talking about again?

"Is this against—" he hiccuped again. "Against the rules? Frank?"

"Yup." Frank declared happily, popping the _'p_ '. "I guess that makes you a trouble maker, huh?" When Gerard next looked at his companion, the older boy was smirking, the cigarette balanced in the side of his mouth perfectly. Gerard blushed and looked away quickly, attempting to hide behind his hair.

"Shit man," Frank muttered, struggling to prop himself up on his elbows as he passed the joint back to Gerard. "You were right; we can't go back to class like this— in this neighbourhood they'd know what was up as soon a season they saw us. They might now _do_ anything about it, but you don't wanna take that risk, right?"

Gerard hummed in what he supposed was agreement. He really _didn't_ want to that risk; it wasn't so much that his parents would lose their shit if they found out he had been smoking weed with a juvenile delinquent - which they totally _would_ \- it was that of his parents found out, that would mean Mikey finding out. If Mikey found out… Gerard didn't want to think about what would happen to them if Mikey found out about this. He was certain, though, that this would drive a wedge between them too far to fix. 

"But we can't go back to my place— my piece-of-shit dad lost his job and all he does is watch TV all day."

He looked to Gerard expectantly, and the younger boy knew exactly what he wanted him to say. It was only polite to offer, since Frank offered first and Gerard was just as much _in this_ as Frank was. 

"We could go to mine?— I mean, if you want? My parents are at work and Mikey probably won't be back until, like, fuckin' midnight or something. My parents get back when school finishes though, just so you know."

Frank nodded and grinned, and Gerard felt a flutter of excitement in his stomach. Frank Iero was coming over to _his_ house, with _him._ Was it bad for him to be stupidly happy about that?

"So, how will we get home?" Gerard asked, cursing himself immediately after for asking something so obvious. Frank probably had a car to drive them home…

He wasn't expecting it, although he probably should have been, when Frank turned to him with another one of those sexy smirks and said, "You ever ridden a motorbike before?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, would you guys want me to start the Frerard action soon (read: in the next chapter…) or wait until they're better friends first?  
> <3


	6. How the Misery Begins

Gerard had never ridden a motorcycle before and, as he sat on the back of Frank's with his arms wrapped firmly around the older boy's chest, he decided it was absolutely fucking terrifying. It was exhilarating, and liberating, and exciting and freeing and _amazing_ , but it was also most _definitely_ fucking terrifying.

Gerard wasn't sure Frank should be driving - he was high after all, and the bike did seem to be going kind of fast for a thirty-mile-per-hour zone - but every time Gerard opened his mouth to scream something in Frank's ear about slowing down he got a mouthful of dust and grit from what the tyres were churning up off the road.

The more he thought about it, the surer he was that he didn't want Frank to slow down. This was the most fun he had had in ages, and ignoring the fact that it was dangerous to the point of life threatening, he didn't want it to end. The joint had given him a light, care-free feeling in his chest; he didn't care that he was skipping school to bring his brother's worst enemy back to his house. He didn't care that his parents would be angry with him for skipping school - even though Mikey had skipped _all_ of the school day today and they wouldn't care about that - or that it was Frank that had persuaded him to do all of this. All that mattered was that he could feel Frank's chest rising and falling in his arms, could feel his body heat and smell the scent of his deodorant mixed with the stench of sweat and weed that clung to him and wanted to be as close to him as possible.

He knew that later on, when he had sobered up a little and Frank's smell wasn't distracting him anymore, Gerard would lie to himself and tell himself that it was the drug fuelling these thoughts, these _desires_ … but sitting on the back of Frank's noisy motorbike, inhaling the other guy's scent and rubbing tiny circles onto his chest with his fingertips - the part of Gerard's brain that wasn't baked told him to stop, but the part that _was_  was telling him that if they were small enough, Frank wouldn't notice - it was easier to admit the truth.

He liked Frank. He _like_ liked Frank, and he had for a while. It had started off as something a little more concrete; at first it had just been physical attraction. Gerard was attracted to the tattoos all over Frank's body, the piercing through his bottom lip, his dark, tousled hair that fell over his eyes, his baggy clothes and carefree attitude. It had created the ultimate bad-boy look, and Gerard couldn't deny that he liked it. He liked it a _lot_. The fact that Frank skipped school to smoke weed underneath the bleachers and rode a motorbike only helped to cement the image, but that was all it was at first. An image. An illusion. A fantasy.

But then, bit by bit, Gerard began to get to know Frank better. He apologised to the younger boy, and he was nice to him, and he talked to him when no one else would and said the one thing he somehow _knew_ Gerard wanted to hear: 'he wasn't Mikey'. Everybody in school was always associating Gerard with his older brother and the gang and danger, and he was getting sick of it. He was his own person, and no one, not even _Mikey_ , had been able to accept that. But then Frank had…

That moment right then, when Frank had said those things, was when Gerard had first looked past the image and actually began to like Frank for his personality. He was a good person; he was nice and kind and generous and he had befriended Gerard for no reason and yes, Gerard decided, he was able to admit that he was hopelessly crushing on Frank Iero.

Not that he thought anything would ever come of it. Frank was cool, and popular, and handsome and not afraid to break rules, and who was Gerard? Gerard was some random loser freshman who followed the two most popular people in school around as his only friends. He was the weird kid that hid behind his brother's reputation for protection; he was Frank's polar opposite, so why would someone like _Frank_ ever want to date someone like _Gerard_?

"I know I'm pretty fuckin' awesome and psychic and shit," Frank called from just in front of Gerard. "But you're gonna have to give me directions if you want to get to your house any time soon."

"Oh," Gerard exclaimed, feeling stupid but the weightless feeling in his chest making him unable to do anything but giggle uncontrollably. "You have to— have to turn left at the park and carry straight on until you get to the mini supermarket on the corner."

Frank didn't say anything, but Gerard felt it vibrate through his chest as he grunted in response. The helmet was a little too big for Gerard and covered his eyes a little, but Gerard wasn't worried about it. He wondered if that made him stupid or reckless, but couldn't bring himself to care as Frank leaned forwards and sped up, zooming past the park and turning left just like Gerard had said.

When Gerard's house finally came into view, he pointed at it excitedly and didn't lower his arm until Frank had swerved right and parked, the motorbike shuddering to a stop in the Way family's drive. Frank looked up at Gerard and Mikey's house for the second time— the first time was when Frank and Mikey had almost finished freshmen year, and Frank and his gang had thought it would be funny to stand outside Mikey's house, hopefully intimidating him. Their plan had backfired when they learnt that Mikey wasn't even in the house, but he doubted Gerard remembered that. 

He took the chance to really examine the house; it was nice. It was the kind of house that you saw in films where the main character wears preppy outfits and drives a Mercedes Benz. It was a paint job away from having a white picket fence with a neatly mowed lawn and frilly curtains covering the windows. It was exactly the type of house Frank's family couldn't afford and would _never_ be able to live in, and he envied Mikey for it. He didn't say any of that to Gerard's of course; he just waited for the kid to lead him inside so he would get to see the interior of this wonderful house.

Gerard had a key, thank god. Frank was worried that they would have to break a window or kick the door down, but Gerard ended that possibility by pulling a shining silver key out of the front pocket of his school bag and giggling. Baked Gerard seemed to think everything say funny, and, Frank had to say, I was sort of endearing. Frank wondered what the kid would do if he were to kiss him now; just push him up against the front door and cover his lips with his own. He wondered what _Mikey_ would do if he ever found out. If it hadn't before, going inside with Gerard seemed like a very, very good idea.

The younger boy fumbled with the key for a few seconds, the numb and heavy feeling taking over his fingers probably due to it being his first getting high, before he eventually managed to insert it into the lock and swing the door open. Frank was hit with immediate warmth and a feeling of comfort; Gee's house was a safe place. Nothing bad could ever happen here, Frank could tell.

"You wanna— do you wanna drink?" Gerard asked, turning round to close the door after Frank as the older boy ambled in. He was blatantly checking out the house he was being invited into, so he didn't register the fact that Gerard had asked him a question until the younger boy reached out and brushed his fingertips against Frank's forearm, insistent and questioning with a high pitched, "Frank?" closely following it.

"Huh?— Oh! Um… yeah, okay. Yeah, water? Do you have water?"

Gerard giggled at him and Frank wanted to smack his hand into his forehead. He was practically standing in a fucking palace, and he asked the kid if they had _water_. Frank frowned to himself as he wondered why he was making a fool of himself; he wasn't usually so calm and cool an came collected, not idiotic and mistake-prone. It occurred to Frank that he was actually _nervous_ , that being with Gerard in his house - such an intimate environment - was making him _nervous,_ but he brushed the though off. It was probably the weed beginning to take effect; he couldn't think of any other reasonable excuse for his behaviour. He _obviously_ wasn't _nervous_ …

" _Frank_!" Gerard called, and when Frank snapped to he realised with a jolt that he was alone in the living room. Gee had started towards the kitchen, expecting to follow him, whilst Frank had stared off into space like a freak. God, he needed to get his shit together. With a sigh, he followed after the kid and nodded his thanks as Gee held the kitchen door open for him.

"Is it always like this?" Gee asked breathlessly as he proceeded to grab a glass and overflow it with water from the tap. Frank chuckled at the image and reached over, gently turning the handle on the faucet because the younger boy certainly wasn't going to ny time soon. He took the glass from Gee's hand - sternly telling himself that he did _not_ deliberately brush his fingers over the back of the kid's knuckles - and took a sip.

"Like what?" Frank replied, searching for clarification. 

"Like…" Gerard ran the tip his tongue over his bottom lip as he thought, and Frank tried his very best not to focus on the unconscious action. "Like fuzzy, warm… nice. Just nice. Does it always feel nice?"

Frank ran a hand over his face, wishing he had smoked more of the joint before he had had to put it out. He was _so close_ to being high, just a little more and he would have the same carefree, fuzzy feeling Gerard was experiencing, but it was too late now and he wasn't going to light up a new one in Gee's home.

"Yeah kid." He answered. "It always feels nice. Why the hell would anyone do it I feel it didn't feel nice?"

Gee frowned suddenly, his eyebrows drawing together and his lips curling down at the sides so that it almost looked like he was pouting. Frank had to remind himself that mood swings were probably common for the first time someone got high. He also had to remind himself that he could _not_ go over to Gerard and kiss that stupidly adorable little pout off of his face, not while the kid was so obviously baked. Not only was he three, almost _four_ , years older than Gerard, but he was the one that gave the kid the marijuana and then took him home. If anyone ever found out, Frank would look so, _so_ guilty.

Still, it didn't hurt to daydream… 

"Why d'you always do that?" Gee asked, sounding so hurt that Frank had to convince himself that it was the drug in him talking. It was hard not to feel guilty when he was gazing up at Frank with big, brown eyes framed by dark eyelashes… long, black hair that looked so soft and touchable…

Yes, Frank decided, it did hurt to daydream.

"Do what?" Frank defended dumbly, taking a large gulp of water to drown out the inappropriate thoughts: images of all the bad things he could do to Gerard were flooding his mind and it was becoming increasingly difficult to look the boy in the eye.

"Call me kid. You do it all the time!" Gerard complained, and, whilst Frank was sure he didn't do it all the time, he let himself be whined at. He was too sweet to interrupt. "I'm not a _kid_! I'm— I'm a… a young adult! Yes! You don't have to act like we're from two totally different generations."

Frank wondered when Gerard had started to seem less and less like an acquaintance - someone to manipulate and to play with whilst also serving the purpose of getting one up on Mikey - and more and more like someone that Frank would enjoy spending time with. Gerard had looked so _alive_ out on the playing field when they were talking about art; his eyes had glittered and the words had come pouring freely off his tongue and out of his mouth. Now that he was high, he was expressing his feelings and opinions with the same ease— if only Frank could get the boy to talk like this when he was sober. He was sure he'd fit right in with Frank's group of friends, if only he'd open up a little more; if only he wasn't a blood relative of their arch enemy.

"Sorry," frank apologised absentmindedly, but it seemed that Gerard was already over the issue, his mind having wandered to yet another strange topic.

"Where did I leave my pencil?" He kept muttering under his breath, slowly getting worked up. He left the kitchen, leaving Frank to trail after him wherever he decided to go— eventually it led up the stairs. Frank felt his heart pounding with every step he took, and even though he wasn't doing anything wrong - lying to the kid to get dirt on his brother aside - it felt like he was. He was just an eighteen year old guy, going with his fifteen year old friend into said fifteen year old's bedroom. There wasn't nothing wrong with that, except…

Except there _was_ …

" _Frank_!" Gerard cried desperately, even though Frank was standing directly behind him and would probably have heard him if he'd decided to whisper instead of yell. "I can't find my _pencil_!"

The older boy hummed a sympathetic, "oh no," to keep High Gerard satisfied, but really he was more focused on taking this time to check out Gee's bedroom. It was pretty basic really: a few posters here and there, a bedside table with a pile of books and a lamp resting on it and about two hundred sketches stuck to the wall with varying degrees of care.

Frank took a couple of steps closer to the wall to examine these sketches further: some were better than others, portraits with every little detail immaculate and in place, whilst others were rough biro drawings that had been hurriedly sketched on the back of a French worksheet and tacked onto the back of Gee's bedroom door. Frank was surprised to see something that looked suspiciously like the tattoo on his neck, and his hand flew up to cover the area.

Turning back around when he heard a pitiful little sigh, Frank saw Gerard had given up the hunt for his pencil - he must have bee not looking for a specific one because Frank saw at least a dozen different pencils scattered around on the floor - and had sunk down to sit with his back pressed up against his bed. His knees were drawn up to his chest and he was resting his chin on them.

"Hey," Frank said gently, coming to sit next to him and wrapping an arm around Gerard's shoulders without really thinking about it or the implications it may have. He rubbed his hand soothingly up and down the boy's back; Gerard stiffened when Frank first touched him, but after a while he could feel the tension drain out of the younger boy and he began to relax into the touch, even leaning into Frank's arm.

They sat like that for a few minutes before Frank giggled a little, breaking the comfortable silence, and said, "So, like… would it be weird if I used your shower? I kinda stink."

Gerard laughed along with him and leaned over to sniff at Frank, wrinkling his nose up in mock disgust when he did. "Eugh!" He joked, pulling back and falling away from the older boy. "You do!" He got up slowly as if it were an arduous task, and beckoned for Frank to join him in the corridor. 

"Towels are already in the bathroom." Gerard told him, pointing vaguely in the direction of the bathroom, and Frank was off down the hall before Gee could say another word. He really did stink.

"I won't be long!" Frank promised, before closing the door and starting to strip off his clothes, one by one.

***

Gerard tried to draw, tried to sing, tried to think up new lyrics in his head, but nothing could distract him from the fact that Frank Iero was next door, naked.

He hated that he was imagining it - what Frank would look like with wet hair and water droplets running in rivulets down his chest… - but he couldn't help it. It wasn't his fault that he had a crush on the guy, and when your crush was taking a shower in your bathroom two rooms down from you, wouldn't you imagine it? Was it normal to do that, or was it just Gerard being a freak again?

Really, Gerard had no idea what was going through his mind. He knew for sure he would never pluck up enough courage to do what he did next if he was sober, so he supposed he could blame it on the weed if this all went to shit… but for the moment he was prepared to do it and he was going to take advantage of that willingness whilst it lasted.

Gerard knew Frank wouldn't have locked the door— the latch on the other side of the door was broken anyway so he couldn't have, and that played perfectly into his idea. His terrible, moronic, fucking _stupid_ idea that he should not even be _considering,_ because even thoughhe wasn't exactly sober right now, if this backfired and Frank decided to _tell_ anyone… Gerard would be ruined. Not even _Mikey_ would stand up for him if this went wrong, and Gerard would stand to lose the only friend he had made since he joined the school.

But, all the same, Gerard found himself shuffling across his bedroom floor to the hallway and then on from there to stand outside the bathroom door. He was able to hear, from his creepy, stalker-esque location, the sound of running water hitting the tub; and then there was a change in sound as Frank must have gotten under the water. Gerard was easily able to distinguish between the previous sound and the sound of the water hitting Frank's body… Frank's attractive body… _naked_ body…

Fuck, Gerard was so _fucked_.

With his heart thudding inside his chest so rapidly that he began to feel nauseous, Gerard twisted the doorknob and pushed gently so as not to attract Frank's attention straight away. Then, after careful consideration, he realised that standing in silence watching a naked Frank take a shower might make him look even more like a pervert than he already must do— he coughed, once and only once, quietly before stepping inside.

Apparently that was all it took because Gerard heard a sharp intake of breath and the shower curtain rippled - why had Frank bothered to pull it across in the first place? Was he _expecting_ this? - revealing Frank's face and top half. The older boy's waist was covered by the translucent blue shower curtain, but Gerard could see enough and blushed at the sight.

Frank looked exactly like Gerard though he would look: hot and wet. His chest was tan with several tattoos of varying colour and size decorating his skin, his hair reached down to just above his shoulders and was pushed back off his forehead to drip water down his neck. Gerard subconsciously licked his lips and wrapped his arms around his chest protectively— although he didn't see what danger Frank posed to him when he was naked and soaking wet in the younger boy's house.

"Gee?" Frank asked, almost as if he didn't believe the shy, nerdy freshman he had been talking to earlier had been able to pluck up the courage to walk in on him showering. Gerard didn't believe it either, and the more he thought about it the more embarrassed he became. 

"Frank…" Gerard started and then trailed off. What was there to say? 'Sorry about this, I just wanted to see you naked,' or, 'I have a creepy crush on you and wanted to see what you looked like under all those clothes'? They all amounted to the same thing really: Gerard was a freak, and Frank should get out of there before anything else transpired.

Instead of saying any of that, the younger boy settled on saying, "I've— I've never kissed anybody before."

His voice was so faint, so shy, that he was surprised Frank heard him at all. He could tell he had heard it, however, due to the myriad of expressions flitting past on his face in quick succession. Frank looked confused at first, then shocked, then worried and after that… after that he looked almost _pleased_.

But no, Gerard told himself, he must have been mistaken. Why would Frank Iero look _pleased_ to learn that Gerard had never kissed anybody?— It was obvious what he was offering, what he was suggesting, and Frank should be _repulsed_ by it. Not _pleased_.

It all seemed to be going in slow motion: Frank stepping out of the shower, dripping water all over the floor and not even bothering to wrap a towel around his waist for modesty's sake. Walking up to Gerard with a soft smile, his hair hanging in front of his face messily and the tattoos inked into his skin seeming to glisten in the light… he looked magical. To Gerard, he looked beautiful.

Frank stopped when he was only one step away from Gerard, who had to lift his chin to look to other boy in the eyes. Frank reached out a hand and placed it on Gerard's cheek gently and, while it was wet and left the boy feeling chilly, he didn't move to back away. He stood there letting Frank stroke his cheek tenderly until, just when he thought he was going to have to either make the first move or leave the room entirely, the older boy spoke up.

"Are you sure this is okay?" 

His words were whispered, his breath ghosting across Gee's face in a tantalising manner so that all he could do was nod dumbly. Without another word, Frank was leaning down so that their lips met.

Gerard's first kiss was with his brother's worst enemy: a naked, heavily tattooed punk who was standing naked in the family bathroom dripping water everywhere and soaking through Gerard's school shirt. It could not have been more perfect.

Frank put a hand on the back of Gerard's head, tangling with his hair to keep him close. Their lips moved in synchronisation, all open mouths and tongues wrapped around each other until Gerard was left breathless and wanting more. Frank pulled away and took a shaky breath in, but before the other had a chance to ask what was wrong he was being pulled back into another kiss. This one was harder, deeper, dirtier, and it left him shaking; he hoped Gerard stayed right where he was, because if Frank moved he would be able to feel his embarrassing arousal through his school trousers and he did _not_ want that to happen.

Eventually they had to break away though, and Gerard took several steps backwards so that he was pressed up against the wall that separated the bathroom from Mikey's bedroom. _God_.

Looking at everywhere _except_ Frank - because it turned out that Gerard wasn't the only one getting turned on by their kiss - he swallowed, and he didn't have to look in the mirror to know his lips would be swollen and red. He thought he should feel ashamed by what he'd just done but he didn't. He didn't have it in himself to feel guilt and he wasn't going to make the situation any worse by berating himself on his stupid behaviour. 

"Was that… okay?" Frank asked, almost sounding insecure. Then Gerard remembered that people like Frank - people like Mikey - didn't get insecure. They were always sure of themselves: cocky and arrogant and selfish. All of them.

"Yeah," Gerard whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat and promptly fleeing the room without a backwards glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took such a long time to update; hopefully it won't be that long again!  
> The general consensus from last chapter that whilst sex straight away would be unrealistic, everybody loves Frerard. I hope the story isn't moving too fast… let me know if you think it is!  
> Enjoym


	7. Carry Me To The End

Gerard was sufficiently worried about going back to school on Monday. Part of him was eager to see Frank again after their kiss, but there was another, more influential, part of him that said faking an illness and having the day off would be a better idea. Gerard closed his eyes and inhaled shakily, wondering if avoiding Frank was worth how much effort he would have to put in to catch up with all the work he would miss. 

It wouldn't, he decided. 

"Gerard, get up." Mikey called agitatedly from the other side of the door. "We're leaving in ten, if you're not in the car you'll have to take the bus." 

Over the weekend, Gerard's relationship with his brother had been slowly getting better. They hadn't talked about the issue a time hand, so nothing had actually been done to get to the root of the problem, but if covering up the scar like nothing had ever happened meant Mikey no longer ignored him at home, then Gerard would happily go along with it.

"I'm coming!" Gerard shouted back blearily, rubbing his eyes and crawling out from beneath his duvet. He was nowhere near ready and he would have to forfeit a shower if he wanted to avoid a half hour trip on the school bus from hell, meaning his hair would be greasy and limp. Not the best impression he could have given Frank after their first kiss, the boy thought… but then he remembered that he didn't have to impress Frank. He didn't _want_ to impress Frank. What he _wanted_ was to _avoid_ Frank.

Actually, what Gerard wanted was to go back to fucking middle school so he didn't have to deal with all this drama, but that wasn't likely to happen any time soon.

Pulling his hand-me-down blazed on over his head and smoothing down the front to get rid of any wrinkles in the fabric, he made his way downstairs hurriedly. He had slept in his school trousers last night, as though he knew he was going to oversleep in the morning, and so he was ready to go to school almost immediately. He took the steps two at a time and wasn't surprised to see his Mother and Father already sitting at the table. Mikey was hovering at the side of the room, his back to the rest of them and his gaze glued to their driveway from out the window. His phone was in his hand by his side and Gerard could tell by his rigid posture that he was uncomfortable.

"Hey Honey," Gerard's Mom said, smiling softly. "There's toast in the toaster and jam in the fridge, but you better hurry. Mikey's been wanting to leave for ages now." His Father coughed and picked up the newspaper that was by his side.

At their Mother's words, Mikey turned around and shoved his phone into his pocket, striding towards them only to pull up a chair and start drumming his fingers on the table impatiently.

"Can you hurry up?" He snapped. "What happened to wanting to be early, huh?" 

“Calm down,” Gerard muttered under his breath, too afraid to say it out loud. He grabbed a slice of toast from the toaster like his Mother said, regardless of the fact that it wasn't properly heated yet, and hurried after Mikey as he left. It wasn't like he _wanted_ to be late after all… it wasn't like he was _avoiding_ someone…

“ _Gerard_!” Mikey called impatiently, jolting Gerard from his daydream. His mind had drifted and he had been standing still in the middle of the doorway. Mikey leant against the driver side door of his car and tapped his keys against it, creating a metallic clinking sound. Irritation was flowing out of every pore, coating Gerard and making him even more antsy than he already was. He did _not_ need this; not today.

 _Jesus_ , his first fucking kiss and here he was, trying desperately to avoid the other person. He felt sick with anticipation— he wanted to see Frank, wanted to talk to him and ride on the back of his motorcycle again. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and kiss him again and he wanted to feel the warmth that he felt when Frank pushed their bodies together, white hot even though the water from the shower was dripping onto Gerard and soaking into his clothes. He was fizzling with energy, electricity shooting through his fingertips at the thought of Frank's mouth on his own.

Except no, he didn't want that. He _couldn't_ want that. Frank was bad for him; he would lie and manipulate and cheat and Gerard was fairly certain, thanks to Mikey's constant reminders, that he was only talking to the younger boy to get to Mikey. He needed to stay away from Frank and from all his friends, fly under the radar for the next three years and graduate and pack his things and get the fuck away from everyone here. He would miss Mikey, but he wouldn't miss the gang. That was all his brother really cared about anyway.

***

Frank had gym first, and he despised gym. Change into tight shorts and baggy tops, run around a field, kick a ball, lift some weights, what the fuck. Frank despised gym class; he hated the teacher and he hated his classmates and he wished more than anything that he could skip it. He was tired and high and consequently starving, so he wanted nothing more than to hop on his bike and drive home, but the school had written to his Mother and if he was caught skipping again he would face a three day suspension. He couldn't afford that, not if he wanted to graduate this year.

He stood at the back of the hall and wished that his steely eyed stare that intimidated all the other students would work on the gym teacher too. The man was currently headed his way and he was doing his best to make him turnover on his heel and run the other way. No such luck.

Over the weekend, Frank and Ray had talked nonstop. Ray knew, he always knew, that Frank had kissed Gerard. He called him on Saturday evening and asked how it was, if Frank liked it, if _Gerard_ had liked it.

And Frank wanted to, wanted to tell him, wanted to confide in his best friend like he always did, but he couldn't. As soon as he opened his mouth to reply, a heavy stone of guilt settled in his stomach and his throat closed up. It felt like he was betraying Gerard, like what had passed between them was a secret, like it wasn't Frank's secret to tell, and he couldn't get the words out.

"Frank? Dude— you still there?" Ray asked, even though he knew he was. 

"I'll tell you more on Monday, got to go man." Frank replied hurriedly. He had no intention whatsoever of telling the others, but he hung up before Ray could reply. He turned off so nobody could call him back.

Now, standing at the back of gym class trying to avoid his teacher's steely gaze, all he could think about was whether he should meet Gerard outside his classroom today or not. The kid had _run away_ after their kiss, had been too embarrassed or excited or nauseous too even stay in the same _room_ as Frank. Would he want to see Frank again? Had he blown it by acting too soon? Had he blown it by acting at _all_? Why was he _so fucking concerned_ about whether about what Mikey fucking Way's little brother thought of him?

He hoped Gerard would sit with him at lunch today— with _them_. Not that he was _missing_ him, of course, just that Ray wouldn't ask about the kiss if Gerard himself was with them.

 _It's all for show,_ he reminded himself _, it's all for my gang. It's not real._ But then, he thought, if had to remind himself the lines between what was real and what's wasn't were already blurring.

***

Frank was outside his French class when the bell signaled the end of the hour, and he couldn't decide whether the surge of emotions exploding inside him meant he was elated or terrified. Maybe both.

Of course it wouldn't be a big deal for Frank; of course Frank wouldn't have spent the entire weekend replaying the kiss in his mind and then hating himself for obsessing over every little detail. Frank wouldn't have noticed how Gerard's heart sped up, how his hands itched to grab the back of the older boy's neck and pull him closer. Frank wouldn't have noticed how Gerard's whole world was rising and falling and spinning and crashing around them in time to the strokes of their tongues against each other.

Not that Gerard noticed. Of course.

"Hey," Frank greeted him when he was close enough, an easy smile spreading across his face. Gerard mirrored the action unconsciously, his lips moving of their own accord. He didn't have any self control, it seemed, when it came to Frank— it was unstoppable, he decided. Their friendship, or relationship, or whatever-it-is-ship.

"Hi." Gerard said shyly, hoping to God that Frank didn't notice the blush flooding his cheeks. "What're you doing here?"

"Came to see you, walk you to lunch. I thought you could sit with us today?" At this, Gerard was sure he visibly lit up like the lights on a Christmas tree. Elation, he decided, not nausea. Frank wanted to sit with him; he wasn't not going to push Gerard away after what happened. He wasn't going to pretend it was nothing, which meant… it was _something_!

"Yeah," he replied, trying to play down his excitement. "Okay."

He swallowed as he thought of what Mikey would think, what he would do, when he saw them together again. If he ever found out about what happened between them in his own _house,_ Mikeywould be livid. There would be no way he would _ever_ forgive Gerard… but so what? Mikey had told him to make some friends, some friends that weren't Mikey and _his_ friends, and so that was what he was doing.

The cafeteria was packed and one glance over at Mikey's usual corner was enough to send Gerard back into a panicked mess. He hid behind Frank as best he could as they walked over to Frank's table, and blushed when everyone there greeted him with a smile. These guys were much more friendly than Mikey's gang; Gerard definitely preferred them. Probably.

"Hey, Gee!" Ray exclaimed, spinning round in his chair to face him. "What's up? How was your weekend?"

Gerard focused on not blushing so as not to give anything away – he didn't want to drop Frank in a mess with his friends - and decided not to tell them that he had had his first 'weed hangover' ever (he had thrown up twice on Saturday morning, although that may have been caused by the memories of Frank— his first _kiss_!)

"Uneventful." He settled on finally, glancing at Frank out of the corner of his eye and trying not to smile when he saw the older boy doing the same. Frank fell down into an empty chair with a sigh of relief and then wrapped an arm around Gerard's waist, tugging him to sit in the one next to him. Gerard just managed to avoid letting out a peal of hysterical laughter, instead flushing from the neck up at the contact.

He could feel eyes on the back of his head and he just _knew_ Mikey would be watching then, glaring at them and plotting Gerard's murder, but he didn't turn around. He had made his own friends now, and he was done doing what Mikey wanted him to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have been gone a loooonnnnggg time and I'm so sorry for that. I've been in a slump recently and haven't had any inspiration for writing, but hopefully this story will be updated more regularly from now on! 
> 
> (P.S: thanks to Filthy+Animal for letting me know people were still reading this and giving me the motivation to update!)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t posted in almost a year and I am very sorry for that whoops
> 
> Chapter dedicated to Accioems because without them this wouldn’t have been written so thanks! :)

Lindsey was a fireball: feisty and lively and friendly and all the things Gerard decidedly wasn't. Since meeting her in art class, he wasn't sure if his school life had got better or worse. On the one hand he now had someone to talk to in lessons and during break time, and on the other hand he was finding himself with detentions more and more often.

She had transferred late and had consequently been put into an art class despite not knowing a thing about art, and after one look at the piece Gerard had been working on she had struck up a conversation with him and it seemed that they hadn't been apart since. 

There weren’t many things that could keep her away: Gerard’s seemingly obvious sexuality, his brother’s infamousity, his pseudo almost-relationship with Frank. She was an angel, really; a dangerous, crazy, open minded angel.

Lunchtime on Thursday saw them walking into the cafeteria, arms linked and steps in sync. Frank and Ray were already sat down at their table and they smiled when they walked in; Gerard and Lindsey had taken to sitting at Frank’s gang’s table for lunchtime and avoiding the angry glares of Mikey and his friends.

Mikey had hardly spoken to Gerard nice their latest argument— Gerard honestly didn’t know whether he was glad about that or not because on the one hand it meant Mikey has stopped telling him that Frank was just using him, that he didn’t care about him, that he should just end everything now. On the other hand… Mikey was Gerard’s big brother. He _loved_ him and they hadn’t argued like this for a very long time. Their parents had started to pick up at the tension between them at home but neither of them had known how to broach the topic so they had left it, let it simmer until eventually it will reach a boiling point.

Gerard missed him, but he wasn’t going to back down or apologise from this because he _wasn’t in the wrong_.

“Hey, Gee.” Frank smiled at him and placed his hand on the table between them, palm facing upwards. Ever since their kiss in Gerard’s bathroom and the awkward conversation afterwards - and the even more awkward car ride home with Mikey that day - they had been hanging out more and more.

They texted a lot too, but Gerard found it far easier to talk to Frank face to face. When they messaged each other, it was difficult for him to know what to say. He couldn’t tell whether Frank was making a joke or not, whether Gerard was supposed to take something seriously, whether he was supposed to send an emoji or ‘hahaha’ or - terrifyingly - a _kiss_.

”How has your day been?” Frank asked Gerard gently, smiling at him softly. It was in moments like these that Gerard knew he was making the right decision. Whatever Mikey might think of Frank - whatever the whole _school_ might think of Frank - they hadn’t seen him like this. They hadn’t seen him soft and gentle and kind and caring. They also hadn’t seen him naked in the shower either… but Gerard was  _not_ thinking about that. Not at all.

He opened his mouth to reply, but Lindsey beat him to it.

” _Boring_.” She exclaimed dramatically. Gerard was fairly certain it was impossible for Lindsey to feel uncomfortable or shy around anyone. “Our art teacher is so weird! Like, he doesn’t even try to _hide_ the fact that Gee’s his favourite. He keeps getting him to leave his paintings behind as well— he probably jerks off to them or something.” 

She snorted as Gerard desperately tried to hide the blush covering his face.

”Lindsey!” He cried, sounding scandalised.

Frank squeezed his hand, bringing it up to his face and kissing each one of Gerard’s knuckles. He felt the embarrassment dissolve; looking at Frank always made him feel calm. Which was crazy, if he thought about it, because Frank should be the last person that makes Gerard feel safe. 

“Hey, Gee.” Ray interrupted suddenly. “Frank and I were gonna go out tonight. There’s this party a few blocks from my house. You and Lindsey should come with us.”

Ray exchanged a quick glance with Frank, but Gerard couldn’t tell what it meant. He turned in his seat to look at Frank himself, searching his face for any sign of discomfort or anger. Honestly, the idea of going to a party - a _senior_ party at that - terrified Gerard, and if Frank didn’t want him to go in the first place then he would have an excuse not to show up. Frank, however, smiled reassuringly and nodded.

”Hell _yes_!” Lindsey agreed enthusiastically, grabbing Gerard’s arm and turning her big, puppy dog eyes on him. “Gee, can we _please_ go? _Please_!” 

Gerard hated parties. He didn’t see the point in going to someone’s house with a bunch of people you saw at school every day - and in Gerard’s case, didn’t actually like - to get drunk and make a fool of yourself. The music was generic and mainstream and the company was less than stellar. But… Lindsey wanted to go. Lindsey, who had taken a chance on Gerard and had instantly accepted all his quirks and problems. Lindsey, who made Gerard braver than he could ever have been otherwise.

A glance at Frank and Gerard accepted that he wasn’t going to get any help from him. He had a similar look on his face to Lindsey; there really was no getting out of this. With a heavy, resigned sigh he nodded.

”Sure, whatever. Just… do we have to stay too long?” He hinted at his discomfort at the whole thing and, like Gerard knew he would, Frank picked up on it. He shook his head hurriedly, an excited gleam in his eyes.

”We can go whenever you want— just tell me if you feel uncomfortable and we can go. I can drive you home, remember?”

Gerard nodded thankfully, glared at Lindsey and ignored the daggers Mikey was shooting his way.

***

When Gerard brought Lindsey home with him, his parents were overjoyed. He had never really had any close friends, had always been on the outside of a circle and consequently had never - literally _never_ \- brought anyone home before. Consequently, after they were first introduced, they were unbelievably embarrassing. 

Lindsey basked in the attention as Gerard’s Mom fussed over her, complimenting her hair and her eye make up and her manners, whilst Gerard flushed a deep red and tried to disapper into the floor. After a brief pause in her assault of compliments, Gerard’s Mom finally held out a tray of muffins and told them to ‘run upstairs and play’.

 _This is why I never had friends over_ , Gerard thought to himself stubbornly, _not because I never had any._

 _”_ That was adorable.” Lindsey announced, throwing herself onto Gerard’s bed unashamedly. She really had no personal space boundaries and he didn’t care at all; it was nice to know she felt comfortable enough with him that she didn’t care about little things like that.

”That was _humiliating_.” Gerard corrected automatically, dumping his schoolbag and resolutely ignoring the shadow cast on his floor by Mikey paused in the doorway.

”You’re going to the party tonight.” He said. It wasn’t a question, so Gerard didn’t answer.

”Yep!” Lindsey replied brightly. “Frank’s taking us.”

Gerard’s head whipped up at an impossibly fast speed. Why would Lindsey _tell_ Mikey that? On further inspection, Lindsey didn’t even look like she knew she’d done anything wrong: she was grinning at the older boy widely, her smile faltering as time passed and she didn’t get an answering smile. Was it possible that Lindsey didn’t _know_ about the gangs _?_

 _”_ Of course he is.” Mikey sneered bitterly. His shadow disappeared as he shut himself in his room.

”Woah.” Lindsey blinked. “What’s the deal with your brother, Gee? He seems cranky.”

Gerard ground his teeth together, feeling irritation spike through his veins. It wasn’t Mikey’s place to tell him who he should Ben hanging around with— especially not considering who Mikey spent time without and got up to after school. Gerard ask a fucking model child compared to his brother.

”He doesn’t like Frank; it’s stupid. Don’t worry about it, you didn't do anything wrong.” _Neither did I,_ he didn’t say.

Lindsey shrugged, already forgetting about the subject. Gerard breathed a sigh of relief despite himself: it was one thing for him to think Mikey was being stupid and unreasonable, but he didn’t want anybody else judging him. He felt fiercely protective of Mikey, even though he wasn’t acting like a good older brother right now.

”So come on,” He started, pulling the doors of his closet open. “You have to help me decide what to wear.”

———

In the end he settled on a pair of tight black jeans and a plan black t-shirt. He didn’t own a wide variety of clothing - his wardrobe mainly consisting of tracksuit pants and baggy hoodies - but tonight was a special occasion. He was going to his first High School party - a senior High School party… what was he _thinking_? - and he wanted to make a good impression. He just didn’t want to be _that weird kid_ that hung out with Frank’s friends. He definitely _wasn’t_ trying to impress Frank.

Frank showed up ten minutes later than he had said he would; Gerard wasn’t too bothered since it was something Mikey did all the time. He didn’t know why it wasn’t supposed to make people seem _cooler_ but then he had never been an expert on anything cool.

It was a car this time, thankfully, so Lindsey and Gerard crawled into the back whilst Frank and Ray were at the front. Gerard’s leg jerked up and down in tense anticipation and Lindsey narrowed her eyes at him, making vaguely threatening motions with her hand. He knew what she was saying though: don’t screw this up for me.

”Relax, guys.” Ray smirked, twisting around in his seat to talk to them. “There’ll be music playing, people will be drinking… I mean this in the best way possible but I don’t think anyone will want to talk to you.”

Lindsey gasped, mock offended - or perhaps she actually was offended, Gerard couldn’t be sure - but it made him laugh out loud. He was feeling breathless and exhilarated, independent and free for once in his life. Frank caught his eye in the rearview mirror and winked. Gerard looked away and blushed, pushing his warm face against the cool glass of the window.

Frank opened the car door for Gerard after they pulled up to the curb, taking his hand and not letting go even after they had walked up to the front door. They could hear loud, thumping music on the other side and there were empty red cup s littered on the porch. Gerard looked over and saw a neighbour glare at him disapprovingly before ducking behind her curtain she again.

He opened his mouth to suggest that maybe this had been a mistake, maybe they should go home, maybe Gerard just didn’t belong in places like this… when the door swung open. 

“Frankie!” Cried the boy who had opened the door for him, waving dangerously with his arms. He was obviously drunk, Gerard thought, otherwise he wouldn’t have been brave enough to pull Frank into a loose, one sided hug. He reeked of alcohol.

”Come in, come in! All of you, you’re all welcome here! Even you, Way Number Two— we don’t care who your brother is here!”

Out of the corner of his eye Gerard could see Lindsey frowning in confusion and swallowed. He would have to explain everything to her at some point, but not now. Not tonight.

Frank kept a tight grip on Gerard’s hand: a reassuring presence amidst the chaos they had just been thrown into. There were people _everywhere_ , doing everything imaginable. Gerard had seen several people making out, taking drugs, smoking, drinking, etcetera before they even reached the kitchen.

”What’s your poison?” Frank asked, holding two empty - dubiously clean - glasses. He pointed to a selection of bottles on the counter. Gerard had never had alcohol before, never been drunk before, but he couldn’t tell Frank that if he wanted the other boy to have fun tonight. Gerard was _not_ going to be a buzzkill.

He opened his mouth and closed it again, goldfish style. He knew there was a blush creeping up his neck and into his cheeks but before he could make a complete fool of himself, Lindsey stepped in.

”I’m having this.” She announced, grabbing the closest bottle to them and waving it in Frank’s face. “You should try it too, Gee. It’s the best.”

Gerard nodded quickly, eager to get the focus off of himself.

Frank poured two glasses and handed one to each of them before bouncing over to Ray and presenting him with the same choice. When he wasn’t looking, Gerard leaned into Lindsey’s side.

”I’ve never had alcohol before.” He told her honestly.

”Me either.” She replied.

They both drank.

***

Gerard had no idea where Frank was, but he was too drunk to care. He had a brilliant carefree feeling, almost like he was flying with the wind blowing in his face and adrenaline thrumming through his entire body—

“This is amazing!” Lindsey screamed, jumping up and down aggressively among the mass of thrashing, dancing bodies. “Arent you so glad we came, Gee?”

Gerard laughed, shaking his head even though he had no idea what Lindsey was talking about. He hadn’t had that many drinks so he had the feeling he was a lightweight, but he didn’t have any inhibitions left and he just didn’t _care_. He was having an amazing time here…

All of a sudden a pair of hands wrapped around his hips and a body pressed against his own. He stiffened, preparing to whirl around and shove whoever it was away when they leaned in close to his ear and whispered.

”You're not dancing.” Frank pointed out, his voice low and breathy and clear. It brought out goosebumps on the back of his neck which Frank obviously noticed. Gerard turned around and gripped Frank’s biceps tightly, grinning at the older boy widely.

”This is amazing!” He yelled at him, repeating Lindsey’s words from earlier. “Thank you so much!”

”For what?” Frank played along, sliding his hand up Gerard’s waist and rubbing the pads of his fingers against the sliver of skin between the hem of his t-shirt and the waistband of his jeans. Gerard bit his lip and took a minute step towards Frank; he didn’t think it was humanly possible for them to be any closer.

”How did you get so drunk, huh?” Frank asked softly. “I only left you alone for half an hour.”

Gerard nodded and heabutted Frank’s chest. He knew if he was sober - when he was sober - he would regret his actions but his brain was offline. The only thing that was working was his heart. And possibly his hands, as they brushed down Frank’s arms and came to rest on his chest.

He saw the kiss coming before their lips actually touched. They were in an insanely crowded place with people Gerard would have to see at school on a regular basis and he could have pulled awaynif he hadn’t wanted to, could have turned his face or taken a step back… but he didn't.

Frank’s lips were soft and he tasted fruity and sweet— Gerard remembered something the older boy had said before he disappeared about being the designated driver so he figured what he was tasting was non alcoholic punch. But there’s was also something else - something familiar and comforting - so that when Frank’s tongue rubbed against Gerard’s, the boy was able to kiss back without getting too nervous.

He could do this. He’d done it before. He could do it again.

Frank removed both of his hands from Gerard’s waist and held his face in his hands, drawing him closer into the kiss. Gerard was breathless and dizzy and so, _so_ turned on.

When they finally broke apart, Gerard could see Lindsey smiling crazily at him and giving them both double thumbs up. He laughed and shook his head at her, waving his hand in a playfully dismissive gesture.

”I should take you home,” Frank suggested, playing at chivalry quite well. “It’s getting late and you’re _really_ drunk. You would never have let me do that sober.”

The crowd was no smaller and the music was no quieter and Gerard had a feeling the party was nowhere near winding down. He opened his mouth to disagree, to say that Frank should enjoy himself and stay longer, when two thoughts hit him at once.

One: what if Frank _wanted_ Gerard to leave so that he wouldn’t be a burden on him anymore?

And two: Frank was offering to leave a party - a party that he was very much enjoying - to _drive Gerard home._

Unsurprisingly, it was the second thought that had Gerard taking Frank’s hand and following the path he created through the crowd to the front door.

Once they were in the sanctity of the car, Gerard turned wide eyes on Frank and shook his head. He was trying to act more sober than he actually was, more mature than he actually was, but sadly he didn’t think Frank was fooled. Not if the smirk he wore was any indication.

”I can’t go home like this!” Gerard argued, gripping Frank’s forearm to add dramatic emphasis to his statement. “My parents will kill me if I come home drunk! They’ll never let me go out again!”

Frank laughed and carefully - gently, like he was touching the most precious thing in the world - prised Gerard’s fingers off his arm. He stuck the key into the ignition and turned it, the engine roaring to life.

”Where do you want to go then?” Frank cocked his head. “You can’t go home and we can’t stay here…” 

He was hinting at something, that much was obvious. He wanted Gerard to suggest it first, the younger boy realised, and swallowed hard. Kissing was one thing— they had made out a few times at school and held hands and exchanged text messages… but being alone in Frank’s house? Mikey would be _so_ angry.

”Are your parents home?” Gerard asked. “Let’s go to yours.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some sexual content in this chapter so if that make sure you uncomfortable then read with caution.

Frank’s house wasn’t anything like Gerard’s. Where Gee’s house was homey and full of life, Frank’s house was dark and cold, with an uncomfortable atmosphere. When they pulled up into the driveway, Gerard slowly getting more and more tired as time went on, Frank killed the engine and turned in his seat.

”Gee?” He asked softly, waiting for a verbal response from the other boy before he continued speaking. “I just— my mother isn’t home. It’ll just be us in there.”

His words were pointed somehow, like they were holding some secret meaning that Gerard couldn’t quite understand, drunk as he was. Gee nodded sleepily, obviously missing the point Frank was trying to make because he reached out and took Gerard’s hands in his own. He ducked his head so that he could catch the younger boy’s gaze.

”No, Gee.” He persisted. “Do you understand? We’re going to be _alone_ in there.” 

Oh. _Oh_. Something clicked in Gerard’s brain and suddenly he knew what Frank was trying to say. But what did that mean? Was Frank expecting them to… to… do _that_? Was he saying it to prepare Gerard for what was about to happen or was he giving him an out, if he wanted to take it? _Did_ he even want to take it?

”Oh.” He replied, helpfully.

”I promise you: we won’t do _anything_ you don’t want. Anything you feel uncomfortable with, you have to tell me and we’ll stop straight away, no matter what. Okay? You have to promise that you’ll say if you don’t want to… do something.” Frank told him insistently. A drunk, foggy part of Gerard’s mind wanted to shut the other boy up with a kiss, but the more rational part of his brain told him he really should pay attention to what Frank was saying. It probably wasn’t the best idea to respond to Frank’s speech about consent with a surprise kiss.

“I know. Okay.” He agreed, eager to get into the house. It was getting cold outside, with the engine off and Frank all the way on the other side of the car. Gee missed his body heat, missed the feeling of Frank’s chest against his back. It was comforting, not to mention the most intimate Gerard’s has ever been with anyone. _Ever_.

They didn’t linger in the hallway, instead choosing to bypass the downstairs entirely and head straight for the stairs. Frank’s room was smaller than Gerard’s, and packed with belongings so that there was hardly any space to move at all. There was dirty laundry littered everywhere and empty plates and glasses scattered around so that there wasn’t no actually an inch of floor space that could be seen. The bed wasnt made but it wasn’t dirty either, and Gerard, despite being drunk, got the distinct impression that it hadn’t been slept in recently. A hot spike of jealously coursed through him at the thought of whose house Frank had been sleeping at, but he pushed it aside. 

There were posters on the walls too, probably placed there strategically to hide the cracks and peeling wallpaper, but they made the room seem less bare. Images of bands and films Gerard had never heard of decorated the room and Gerard had a fleeting thought of Mikey: that if he were here, he would love this room. But then he rememebered the way Mikey had been acting recently and it was easy to forget about him.

Frank was clutching his hand, holding it like a lifeline even though Gerard had no idea why he would need courage. _Gerard_ was the one that should be scared in this situation: he was alone in his older maybe-boyfriend’s bedroom, very drunk compared to his boyfriend’s sobriety. His parents had explicitly warned him never to get into this situation; he should leave right now. He should ask Frank to take him home and curl up under his duvet and call Lindsey in the morning after he gets over his hangover.

Instead, he turned on the spot and surged forward, pushing his own lips against Frank’s. The older boy was obviously startled but Gerard didn’t let this deter him; he didn’t really know much about kissing techniques so he was content to just stand there on his tiptoes with his mouth pressed against Frank’s. After only a few seconds, Frank started to move his lips and Gerard was more than happy to let his boyfriend take control.

Frank’s lips were soft and smooth and firm against his own, parted just enough to allow his tongue to tease at Gerard’s mouth. One of Frank’s hands found Gerard’s waist, wrapping around it securely, and the other swept across his cheek tenderly. Gerard’s heart was beating so erratically he thought it wouldn’t jump straight out of his chest, and at every sweet gesture Frank made he felt himself fall further and further under the other boy’s spell. He was sure he would do anything Frank wanted right now, if he’s just asked.

”Gee,” Frank gasped when Gerard opened his mouth a little wider. He felt Frank’s tongue rub against his own and shuddered with his whole body. Frank clearly had a lot of experience in this department because where Gerard was clumsy and over enthusiastic, Frank was subtle. His tongue was rubbing circles into the roof of Gerard’s mouth, occasionally flicking against a spot that drove the younger boy _crazy_ , and it didn’t look like he was even breaking a sweat.

”Frank, _please_.” Gee whined, unable to stop himself as he pressed his hips against Frank’s thigh. He couldn’t tell how far gone Frank was, but he knew he would be able to feel the hard length of Gerard’s cock pressing against his leg right now. He blushed furiously but found himself unable to stop, fuelled by desire and arousal.

”Wait, wait.” Frank panted, pulling away and huffing breaths against Gerard’s face. A string of saliva connected their lips and Gerard couldn’t help but focus on it, transfixed by the proof of their kiss. “Gee, wait. You have to— you have to tell me what you want.”

The light in Frank’s bedroom was dim, the lack of streetlights outside meaning they were cast almost entirely in shadows. They only light provided was by Frank’s bedside lamp, and that only gave a dim, yellowish glow, but Gerard could see clearly the diluttion of the other boy’s pupils. Huh. It turned out Frank was pretty far gone too, then.

Gerard groaned, unable to think right now and struggling to understand how Frank could think he could _ever_ make decisions in this state. It hurt to concentrate on anything other than the churning feeling in his gut and the smooth texture of his boxer briefs against his dick. He pushed his forehead against Frank’s shoulder and whimpered, hoping this conveyed his message just as effectively as speaking would have done. It seemed to work, because Frank sucked in a shaky breath.

”I don’t— I don’t _know_. Anything, Frank. _Please_ , anything.” Gerard pleaded, his words garbled and unintelligible. Frank seemed to know exactly what he meant though because he nodded and placed his hands on Gerard’s chest, pushing him backwards slowly until the back of the boy’s knees hit the bed. His legs buckled and they’d both toppled down onto the mattress, Gerard on the bottom with Frank hovering over him.

“Just relax, okay?” Frank whispered, drawing himself up so that he was sitting on Gerard’s thighs. His fingertips brushed against the waistband of Gerard’s jeans and then pushed underneath his t-shirt, sliding over the smooth skin there. His nails raked up and down Gerard’s chest and when he brushed a nipple Gerard’s whole body jerked so hard he thought he would throw Frank off.

Not that this seemed to deter Frank, of course. He just smirked and did it again, paying more attention to them than before.

”If you ever want to stop, just say so and I will. No matter what. You understand?”

His hands stilled, the pads of his fingers maddeningly warm where they were touching Gerard’s skin, as he waited for a verbal response from Gerard. It was all the boy could do to stutter out an affirmative and then Frank’s hands were moving again. He ducked low, bending his neck so that he could drag the flat of his tongue over Gerard’s left nipple before takin get it into his mouth entirely and _sucking_. Gerard’s mind whited out, pleasure like he had never felt before making the edges of his vision blur.

Then Frank was pulling away, a string of saliva connecting his mouth and Gerard’s nipple that Gerard couldn’t help but focus on, and crawling up to kiss him on the mouth once softly. His arms were bracketing Gerard’s head, one on either side, and they were so close that every deep inhale and exhale caused Gerard’s chest to touch Frank’s. The only sounds were their breathing and the faint whoosh of the wind outside the window. It was heady and exciting and Gerard was only a little terrified.

”What do you want, Gee?” Frank whispered, pausing to bite tenderly at his bottom lip. Gerard shuddered and shook his head, unable to form proper, cognitive sentences.

”Anything— I don’t… Frank, I don’t know. Anything, _please_.” Frank nodded, trailing a line of kisses down Gerard’s neck and slipping a hand under the younger boy’s t-shirt again, every touch maddening.

Gerard only knew when his trousers were being unbuttoned and pulled down when he felt the cool air hit the skin of his thighs. His boxers were still on, though tented and with a wet spot forming where the head of his cock was leaking precome. He had never been seen like this by another person before, and it hit him how vulnerable and exposed he was leaving himself. He trusted Frank - did he? - but it didn’t mean he was any less nervous. 

“Hey, hey,” frank mumbled against Gerard’s skin, pulling his hand out of the boy’s t-shirt and using it to stroke his cheek comfortingly. “You okay? Do you want to stop?”

Gee shook his head wildly. His heart was pounding out a stacatto rhythm in his chest and his breath was coming in short, shallow pants, but he was certain that the last thing he wanted right now was for Frank to stop touching him. The alcohol was wearing off now, just a little, leaving him with a little more clarity than he had before. 

He did not want Frank to stop touching him.

”No!” Gerard cried, not wanting to beg but not unwilling if it meant Frank would keep touching him like this, would touch him _more_. 

“Okay, okay.” Frank consoled him, stroking a hand up and down his side reassuringly before moving it to snake up his thigh. When he slid it even higher and let it rest, unmoving, over Gerard’s clothed erection, his whole body jerked and he was left out of breath. 

“I’ve got you.” Frank promised, starting to move his hand just a little. He wrapped it around Gerard’s cock, getting the best grip he could what with Gerard’s boxers in the way, and rubbed his thumb in small circles over the head. Gerard was biting his lip so hard that he could taste blood but he didn’t want to let out any noises in case Frank stopped and asked him if he was okay again. He appreciated the older boy’s concern, definitely, but the last thing he wanted right now was to have to repeat what he had already said multiple times.

”This good?” Frank smirked, moving his hand to tug at the waistband of Gee’s boxers; the younger boy lifted his hips to make it easier for Frank and finally they were off. The relief was instantaneous, quickly followed by a need more intense than anything Gerard had ever felt before. Frank took Gerard’s erection in his hand and pumped slowly, keeping his eyes trained on Gerard’s face.

Gerard moaned softly and nodded, biting his lip before any other sounds could escape. Frank was older than him, more experienced, and he didn’t want to seem any younger than he was by making a fool of himself.

”No, don’t do that.” Frank chastised, catching on to Gerard’s plan. He leaned down and kissed Gerard’s bottom lip where his teeth were making indents until Gerard let go, throwing his head back and groaning. It was too much: too many sensations seemingly happening all at once and he didn’t know which pleasure to focus on. Frank was kissing his neck again, nibbling on the skin lightly and licking it to soothe it, and his hand was working Gerard up and down with tight, practiced strokes. All of a sudden, Gerard was teetering just on the edge and he knew he was about to crash over any second.

”Frank,” he gasped, attempting to warn the older boy, but he couldn’t seem to get the right words out. “ _Frank_!”

”It’s okay, Gee.” Frank replied breathily, sucking hard on a particularly sensitive spot on Gerard’s neck, and he was done. He cried out and arched his back as he came, covering Frank’s hand and his own stomach. He felt like all the energy had been punched out of him along with his orgasm, and he didn’t have the strength to do anything but close his eyes and breathe.

Distantly, he heard Frank leave and then return, cleaning him up with a damp flannel and pulling the covers up to his neck. After that, he was drifting into a dreamless sleep, warm and sated and happier than he had been in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think in the comments! <3

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this, please leave a comment or kudos. :) Enjoy! <3


End file.
